Monthly Archives: October 2016

Getting Closer to My MBA


I only have two more semesters left and I will have officially earned my MBA.  What a feeling, what an accomplishment.  I will be the first person in my family to achieve a master’s degree.  As I start looking at my future, I have begun to interview for positions in Santa Barbara, Portland and Las Vegas.  Unfortunately, Santa Barbara did not work out; as they hired an internal candidate; however, I did receive a very nicely written note from one of my interviewers letting me know that I was their first choice for an external candidate.  That boosted my confidence, as my self-esteem was run over by a mack truck…


Not too sure about Vegas and my phone interview for Portland is on Wednesday.  Keeping my fingers crossed for Portland, the opportunity is an AHHH-MAAAZZING one.  For a kid that dropped out of high school because my teachers told me I would never reach any kind of academic success…  Here’s to you!  Not only will I be getting my masters, I will be graduating with honors (AGAIN).


Shifting careers in the middle of your life seems almost impossible, but I am coming to find that my background and schooling are actually giving me an edge against my competition.  I have been blessed to work and be mentored by some of the best executives in this country who provided me with a solid foundation of the world of business.


People always ask me, “What Next?  Will you go for your doctorate?”  Honestly, I don’t know what is next.  If I go for my doctorate it will be definitely be in the field I am most passionate about – Sociology.



Humbled by the Homeless


On my way to work this morning I was sitting at the stop light at Main and Kirby, doing what I do best – observing my surroundings.  All the other cars were sitting around me and you could see their gazes wander the streets impatiently waiting for the light to turn green.  Their eyes skipped over the socially unacceptable figure on the corner, but I saw him clearly.

A young homeless man on his hands and knees caught my eye and I began to pay particular attention to what he was doing.  His sandy blonde hair was unkempt, but didn’t seem dirty.  His shopping cart was next to the space where he had a neatly laid out a palate.  I watched his hands as they ever so gently folded each blanket, taking care to make sure the corners matched up to create a perfect masterpiece.


He had the remnants of a cigarette or joint hanging out of his mouth, it was hard to tell.  I averted my eyes to his shopping cart and noted how everything was neatly folded and organized in there too.  As he stood up, I rolled down my window and yelled “HEY, HEY, HEY”.  He looked up at me and started to walk to my car.  His eyes seemed to be filled with loneliness and despair as if he knew his lack of purpose in life were set in between each folded blanket.

As he got closer to my window I reached in my wallet and pulled out some money.  His long slender nose was set above a boyish grin; his teeth were slightly crooked and clean- free of meth scars.  This made me feel good about what I was doing.  The little white lines at the corners of his face showed the character of someone who used to smile a lot and had purpose.


He stood at the window of my car and I could almost touch the conflict going on inside of him, a battle of wills as if he were negotiating with an imaginary devil on one shoulder and an angel on the other.  I sensed his discomfort seizing his insides.  I handed him some money, and then silent resolve, as if a moment of clarity had graced his consciousness.

He nodded revealing the portrait of a man who was humble, knowing only his failure and said “Bless You.”  I hope he is there tomorrow, I really want to know his name.




I am a highly educated woman with an expansive vocabulary.  There I said it.  Believe me when I say, that took a lot of guts. 


Observing social behavior is one of the most pleasurable activities.  Some could care less about the social mores of society and tend to avoid them at all costs.  However, there are a few very educated people who use these as tools to observe social behavior (mostly bullshit).  Curiously people unconsciously give away their hidden agenda without even knowing it.  Their attempt to deceive becomes so obviously apparent it actually makes them look foolish.  If you just sit quietly, listen and observe you will find the answer is actually between the lines.  Just remember, infinite patience gets you immediate results.

Your mind has to innately organize information constantly.  Every little piece of information has a place, typically people like to start somewhere in the middle and work their way out.  Having the ability to disseminate minor details that later become a major detail is essential.  matrix_065pyxurzSometimes you will feel like Neo in the Matrix, knowing something was off but you just can’t readily put your finger on it.  Everybody has different levels of consciousness and awareness, so just sit tight. (there is no need to stick your finger in it)


bullshit-meterInstead of being analytical, it really comes down to the brass tacks of having a bullshitsky meter.  Which I now proclaim to have a war against and am finding it to be a completely unwinnable situation.  Everyone seems to have their own private bullshitorium, one they are selling tickets to, even if you are not buying, they seem to lure you in only to rob you blind.

Bullshit oozes out of ones mouth like diarrhea, it also rears its ugly head in body language, like stepping in a pile of it.  Everyone has a good reason and they will always have a real reason for doing or saying something.  For me, I always want to give the real reason, not just a bullshit good reason.  Bullshit (lies) destroy trust, the binding force in all relationships.  Bullshit is defined as inventions made in ignorance of the facts, where the primary goal is to protect oneself or gain a benefit (cost benefit analysis, hmmm).  It is a form of unnecessary deception committed in the gray area between polite white lies and complete malicious fabrications.  Why do some want to confront the bullshitter?  Has the bullshitter ever once admitted “thank you for pointing out to me that I’m inferior as a human being.”


To detect bullshit you have to swallow some cynicism, and add internal doubt to everything you hear.  Socrates based his philosophy around the recognition, and expectation, of ignorance.  It is far more dangerous to assume people know what they are talking about, than it is to assume they don’t and let them prove you wrong.  So if you want to appear educated, be like Socrates, assume people are unaware of their own ignorance and politely, warmly, probe to sort out the difference.

And always remember the definition of a bullshitter:

  1. Foolish, deceitful, or boastful language.
  2. Something worthless, deceptive, or insincere.
  3. Insolent talk or behavior.
  4. bull·shit also bull·shat (-shăt) or bull·shit·ted (-shĭt′ĭd), bull·shit·ting, bull·shits


  1. To speak foolishly or insolently.
  2. To engage in idle conversation.

To attempt to mislead or deceive by talking nonsense.


Very angry; incensed.


Used to express extreme displeasure or exasperation.



Machiavelli – A Perfect Weekend, Coincidence?


Life is good.  I feel like I am starting to finally get into my own groove.  Doing things for myself, doing things that I want to do and learning Spanish, it just doesn’t get any better than that!



Friday evening was enjoyed with great company, Wyatt Earp, my straight shooter friend did not let me down.  As he strolled into the Cadillac bar, he took his seat where he could view the entire room, of course I was sitting there tap, tap, tapping on my phone and then greeted him with a lackadaisical conformist greeting of “Hey, it is good to see you”, mwa, kiss on the right cheek, mwa, kiss on the left cheek.

Our conversation was delightful with the same brutal honesty that I have come to expect.  We talked about relationships and manifesto’s women whom he has dated have sent to him on what is wrong with him.  While he admits to being an asshole, and of course, I concurred that yes, at times he can be, it is not the type of asshole you would typically encounter.  With a name like Wyatt Earp, one would have some level or arrogance and contempt for outlaws.


“He was not an angel,” former Tombstone resident George Parsons wrote in 1928, “but his faults were minor ones, and he never killed a man who did not richly deserve it. The real Wyatt led a life that was authentically Western. He was a gambler and a saloon keeper, and he enjoyed the charms of several women. Most of all, he was as tough as men came when toughness earned respect. He was loved and hated, a man who drew strong allegiances and made devoted enemies. Wyatt Earp was a natural leader with a coterie of followers who always believed he did right. He believed it too.”

Do you think if we write manifesto’s, and I am just as guilty, we should preface a negative with at least a positive?  You know like your boss does when he calls you into his office?  Read on, I will answer this question when we get to Sunday.


My friend Brittany Spears just came in my office and informed me she threw a co-worker under the bus on Friday, but waited until she was about to leave for the day.  That was an asshole move, and yes, she can be an asshole too.



Saturday, I had the most incredible massage.  This guy worked me over, I could feel the stress balls release.  I knew that I was going to pay dearly the next couple of days for this guilty pleasure and I can still feel it today.


I got home and watched 7 straight hours of NARCOS.  I’m not going to lie, I am hooked!  My Spanish vocabulary has increased 10-fold and I am not sure if that is good or bad.  I had no idea of the mayhem and chaos happening in Columbia during the 80s and 90s.  It was pure anarchy.

  • Bomba, Bomba, Bomba,
  • Ustedes eligen, ¿plata o plomo?
  • Coma mierda. Coma. Mierda.
  • el patron
  • Bien o qué?
  • Qué más?
  • Puta
  • hijo de puta
  • hija de puta



 Pablo Escobar, in my opinion was a true follower of the Machiavellian way (the handbook for gangsters):


  • States can be republics or kingdoms, old or new. The easiest to rule are old hereditary kingdoms, lands that are passed down from father to son. Basically, instead of passing along their 2001 Toyota Camry, your parents give you a kingdom.  He surely was striving to rule the new kingdom! 



  • You’d have to be an idiot to have problems ruling one of these. Because they’re so easy to rule, they are hard to take. The best way to take old hereditary kingdoms is by killing the old monarchy. Every last one.  To say the least he seemed to be successful at taking people out at every level! 



  • Mercenaries and auxiliaries (people you pay to fight for you) are a waste of time and dangerous, to boot. If you have a strong army, and your people love you, no one can touch you. They won’t even think about it. He earned the love of the people of Columbia and truthfully no one could touch him! 



  • On that topic, you need to run your army, so war needs to be on your mind all day every day. You need to be on the cutting edge of war techniques and technology. He was always consumed with stirring shit up and then negotiating, and endless cycle of entertainment for him, a way for him to feel importanto! 



  • You also need violence to take self-governed republics, because they will rebel if you don’t crush them. Just remember not to keep being violent. Get it over with so you can start being nice and people won’t hate you. Never let your people hate you. Lie, cheat, steal—just don’t become hated. Unfortunately this ultimately led to his demise; however, he was able to lie, cheat and steal for a long time and the people still loved him!



Sunday morning was the best!  I grabbed a cup of Starbucks, I came home, watched videos of my professor talking about Leadership and Management in an office and took my final exam.  Here is what I learned – high functioning employees prefer specific instruction; however, in order to get the maximum performance from them you should give high functioning employees ambiguous direction because they will always give you more than expected.  Low functioning employees should be given specific instruction; however, they prefer ambiguous direction.  In my learning process my eyes are continually forced wide open.  Is this manipulation?  Are our managers really assholes learning the system to get unknowing and unsuspecting employees to do their work?


I also learned, what I’ve already known, that shit rolls downhill.  No matter the situation, the lowest guy on the totem pole will always take it up the ass.  If you look at the Exxon Valdez oil spill, the CEO said he would take responsibility. Then the focus flowed down to the captain of the ship who was sleeping off an alcohol bender.  The captain turned the ship over to an unlicensed mate who was tasked with piloting the ship and ultimately paid the price for the spill.  When we delegate responsibility as an authority are we still ultimately responsible?  The more distance executives are to a situation the less likely they are culpable for any wrong doing.  Just look at Lou Pai, he was actually one of the Smartest Men in the Room.


Funny, Machiavelli reared his ugly head again in my weekend, in fact, he was a realist who understood the limits and uses of power.  He believed that leaders should always mask their true intentions, avoid inconsistency, and “frequently act against mercy, against faith, against humanity, against frankness, against religion, in order to preserve the state.”  But what does that really mean?  If you study management theory in conjunction with political theory, you will begin to realize that you are studying the same subject.  I encourage you to re-read my bullet points above – you may see a disturbing correlation.


Which brings me back to Friday, aren’t we all really just assholes in some form or fashion?  It might just be the level of assholedness that one possesses, but ultimately do we really think like Machiavelli to some degree?



THUG LIFE…. Takin’ Over…. You Should Try It!


I’m not sure if anyone else has experienced this, but after being married to Mucus, I really don’t have lovey dovey feelings.  I’m just feelin’ life.  I’m just feelin’ me and I’ve got my theme song rollin’:

I got this feeling on the summer day when you were gone
I crashed my car into the bridge, I watched, I let it burn
I threw your shit into a bag and pushed it down the stairs
I crashed my car into the bridge

I don’t care, I love it, I don’t care

You’re on a different road, I’m in the milky way
You want me down on earth, but I am up in space
You’re so damn hard to please, we gotta kill this switch
You’re from the 70’s, but I’m a 90’s bitch

I love it, I love it

I got this feeling on the summer day when you were gone
I crashed my car into the bridge, I watched, I let it burn
I threw your shit into a bag and pushed it down the stairs
I crashed my car into the bridge


I’ve been dating and I really don’t have any patients for twerps.  We go out, I have a great time, laugh all the way home and think to myself “that is the type of guy I would typically date” – what a putz and then BLOCK him from my phone.  Strangely enough they seem to find me on FB and send me private messages of wanting to be friends.  FML 

It might feel good
It might sound a little somethin’
But damn the game if it don’t mean nothin’
What is game who got game
Where’s the game in life behind the game behind the game
I got game
She’s got game
We got game
They got game
He got game
It might feel good
Or sound a little somethin’
But fuck the game if it ain’t saying nothin’


Finally I found MY footing, I FINALLY GET IT, I FINALLY SEE THE MANIPULATIVE UGLINESS in people.  My new-found magical powers have enabled me to show complete empathy for people who have been in the same relationship spin-cycle that I have been in and POWER block the ugly people.  You would not believe how excited my inner goddess is feeling right now:


Beating my drum like dum di di day
I like the dirty rhythm you play
I wanna hear you callin’ my name
Like, hey ma ma, mama, hey ma, mama
Banging the drum like dum di di day
I know you want it in the worst way
I wanna hear you callin’ my name
Like, hey ma ma, mama, hey ma, mama



So many people throw the word LOVE around like it is a dollar bill at a strip club.  I can promise you this, I will never say that word to any man unless I plan to spend the rest of my life with him.  I have to have at least one sacred word in my life that has actual value and meaning.  The world is my oyster and the show will go on! 

Alright, already the show goes on
All night, till the morning we dream so long
Anybody ever wonder, when they would see the sun up
Just remember when you come up
The show goes on!
Alright, already the show goes on
All night, till the morning we dream so long
Anybody ever wonder, when they would see the sun up
Just remember when you come up
The show goes on!

Have you ever had the feeling
That you was being had
Don’t that shit that make you mad
They treat you like a slave,
With chains all on your soul,
And put whips up on your back,
They be lying through they teeth
Hope you slip up off your path
I don’t switch up I just laugh
Put my kicks up on they desk
Unaffected by they threats
Than get busy on they ass
See that’s how that Chi-Town made me
That’s how my daddy raised me
That glittering may not be gold,
Don’t let nobody play me


I really just want to say that I am HAPPY!  Without any REASON!  Without any EXPECTATION, I am just HAPPY for the first time in my life.  I could actually walk outside and SHOUT – I AM HAPPY!!!!  Not a care in the world, just HAPPINESS!  I am THANKFUL! I’m HAPPY, genuinely, insanely, positively HAPPY!!  I want to tell everybody out there going through their muckety muck, to come with me, let’s laugh, let’s be kids again!  Enjoy the simple things!  To RISE ABOVE IT, I PROMISE, you WILL get here TOO!!!!!

Everybody right here,
What you need to do is be thankful
For the life you got, you know what I’m sayin?
Stop lookin’ at what you ain’t got
And start being thankful for what you do got
Let’s give it to ’em baby girl

You’re gonna be, a shinin’ star
In fancy clothes, and fancy cars
And then you’ll see, you’re gonna go far
‘Cause everyone knows, just who ya are
So live your life (Hey! Ay ay ay)
You steady chasin’ that paper, just live your life
(Oh! Ay ay ay)
Ain’t got no time for no haters, just live your life
(Hey! Ay ay ay)
No tellin’ where it’ll take ya, just live your life
(Oh! Ay ay ay)
Hey, never mind what haters say
Ignore ’em ’til they fade away
Amazin’ they ungrateful
After all the game I gave away


Oh and yes, if I ever do fall in love – there will be no going back…..

So you wanna play with magic
Boy, you should know whatcha falling for
Baby do you dare to do this
Cause I’m coming atcha like a dark horse
Are you ready for, ready for
A perfect storm, perfect storm
Cause once you’re mine, once you’re mine
There’s no going back

She’s a beast
I call her Karma
She eat your heart out
Like Jeffrey Dahmer
Be careful
Try not to lead her on
Shawty’s heart was on steroids
Cause her love was so strong
You may fall in love
When you meet her
If you get the chance you better keep her
She sweet as pie, but if you break her heart
She turn cold as a freezer
That fairy tale ending with a knight in shining armor
She can be my Sleeping Beauty
I’m gon’ put her in a coma
Damn I think I love her
Shawty so bad
I’m sprung and I don’t care
She got me like a roller coaster
Turn the bedroom into a fair
Her love is like a drug
I was tryna hit it and quit it
But lil’mama so dope
I messed around and got addicted