SICK AGAIN

This is the first year to get a flu shot and I have never been sick this much.  Last night my little glands were swollen like ping pong balls or at least felt that way and by the morning I could barely swallow.  

My head is so congested and I’ve done nothing but sleep today.  It is times like these that we miss the people in our life who knew how to make things better.

 

90-DAY TRIAL PERIOD

When one begins to start dating, and begins to intimately look at the other partner, there is what is called the 90-day trial period, unfortunately there are no refunds or returns. It is the time of sticking your toe in to test the waters.

When the sight of his name on caller ID gives you butterflies, when lavish nights out or cozy nights in seem equally desirable, and when you doodle his name in a heart bubble circa 4th grade. Once you begin to have these feelings the clock starts ticking and after 90-days for some reason, often means it’s time to sink or swim. Before you decide whether Mr. McDreamy has staying power beyond the initial ooey gooey phase, you will need to ask yourself these 6 questions.

 

How intimately do you know him?

In the beginning, you should have spent as much as time as possible getting to know your guy. If conversations haven’t plunged beyond, “Can you pass me my pants, please?” or “I’ll have pepperoni on my half,” your relationship potential is not good. In the initial months, you’re most likely to show interest both physically and emotionally, so with this question, evaluate what you have uncovered about your guy. – I find that you are able to connect on another level. Does this person call you when you are sick? Do they check on your well-being, do they do little things for you and then you find yourself wanting to do little things for them, and you are reciprocating in all the same ways? If you are really into someone, and have respect, you do things because you want to, not because it is expected. This cultivates an equal relationship with great potiential!

 

How much do you have in common?

While opposites certainly can attract, you want some similarities for the long haul — particularly in the values department. So think about whether you’re on the same page when it comes to morals and standards, what you like to do for fun, how you de-stress and so on. While you don’t need to date your carbon copy, having some commonalities is key for longevity. I do believe while opposites attract, I think that finding your extreme ping pong partner, who likes to adventurously absquatulate with mementos, have random billingsgate contests, has one hell of a callipygian, who will take a walk on the wild side and enjoy watching ecdysiasts with you, who has a lot of rigmarole to make you laugh, who enjoys all kinds of shenanigans and who likes to filibuster at random moments.

Does your dog like him?

Dogs have better intuition than people and rarely seem to be wrong about a match made in heaven. So, if you have a dog, pay attention to how your pup behaves around your man. If the dog don’t like him – get your Kiks on and RUN!!!!

how is your time between dates?

The way you view your guy and how you interact with him when you are not seeing him can tell a lot about your potential future and whether it will continue to sizzle… or fizzle. It has to be relaxed, if they are constantly texting, emailing, calling – basically smothering you… Get your KIKS and peace out!

Have you met each other’s friends?

Opening the door to your treasure trove of valuable friends is a clear indicator that your Mr. Someone is Mr. Someone Special, and the relationship might have potential. That holds true for a guy, as well. This is important, your friends can see things that you can blindly not see. If they pass the friends test, then things are looking good!

Are you your best self?

Relationships with potential bring out your very best self. Think about who you are in this relationship vs who you are outside of it. Are you rising to your best self? Is this relationship helping to make you a better you? This is the most important, if you are having to change who you are, or are finding yourself in an alien’s body. AGAIN – get your KICKS – DEUCES/Peace OUT!

TENDING OUR TALENTS

Aron, the pastor of my church invited me to attend their bible study (C-Group) last night and I could not have been more grateful. Both he and his wife are very charismatic and compliment one another.

 

So many times in life when someone compliments us on something we do very well, we tend to brush it off. I’ve done it my whole life, I’ve never felt worthy or good at anything. During my bible study last night, my churches pastor led a great study on accepting the gifts God has given us and embracing them. It was something I really never gave a second thought to, but am now giving pause to think about the talents God has given me.

 

I came across this passage and it really hit on the topic we studied last night. Sharing this with you may help you to discover your hidden talents.

 

“One of the things I like best about shopping is finding the perfect gift for someone special. I’m thrilled when that person delights in my gift. If someone obviously does not appreciate the gift, I’m crushed.

How similar God must feel when we neglect the perfect gifts He gives us. As a loving Father, He created us with natural abilities and strengths and then, on top of that, bestowed spiritual gifts as well. Why has He done this? God granted us gifts and abilities so we can serve others, as well as give part of ourselves back to Him. “And He gave some as apostles, and some as prophets, and some as evangelists, and some as pastors and teachers, for the equipping of the saints for the work of service, to the building up of the body of Christ” (Ephesians 4:11,12).

In receiving these gifts and abilities, we have several choices: We can set them aside in disappointment and pursue something that looks better in our own eyes; we can develop them for personal gain; or we can cultivate and practice them as our own gifts back to God. When it comes to long-term fulfillment, however, we find greatest satisfaction when our gifts and abilities are used as intended, with grateful glances toward the Giver.

Some people claim they don’t have any special talents or gifts, or they don’t pursue discovering them. But God desires every member of the body of Christ to use the abilities He divinely gave; therefore each believer has the responsibility to seek out and discover God-given talents. Doing this can launch a lifetime of enjoyable stewardship and service to God.

One way to recognize our talents is to notice things we excel at and enjoy doing. Another is to ask close friends or family members which areas they see as our strengths. Yet a third is to take one of the various tests that measure our strengths and weaknesses, as well as reveal spiritual gifts.

After recognizing our talents, however, we may compare ourselves to others and react in disappointment. Instead of trusting that our “Father knows best,” we compare God’s gifts for us to unrealistic personal or social expectations. Society may favor certain talents, but they might not suit us as individuals. By failing to look at a gift’s true value, we not only cheat ourselves, but we cheat God as well. “Isn’t He, the Potter, greater than you, the jars He makes?” asks Isaiah 29:16 (Living Bible). “Will you say to Him, ‘He did not make us’? Does a machine call its inventor dumb?” God has created us for a purpose¬we should follow the direction He lays out.

Others develop their talents for personal gain. In today’s “me” society, some overlook the fact that God holds all responsibility for our talents. They take the credit for themselves, either because certain things have come easily or because they worked hard for their accomplishments. Yet when we selfishly take credit for what God deserves, we fail as faithful stewards to God. Many fall into this trap because of pride and the attractions of success. When this happens, God probably feels as I would if I were to give a child an art kit and the child painted for others but never for me.

Consider how pleased God must be when His children use the gifts He’s given to honor Him. The apostle Paul is a good example of someone who used his talents for himself first and then for God. When we first read in the Book of Acts about Paul (then called Saul), he was using his zeal, passion and gift of teaching to persuade people not to follow God. In fact, he persecuted and imprisoned those who believed in Christ. But after he met Christ in a personal way and was filled with the Holy Spirit, Paul used those same gifts to help lead many people to Christ.

It was the apostle Paul who wrote so much in the New Testament about our gifts and talents and the use of them. Paul’s life wasn’t easy once he began using his gifts for God’s purposes, but he experienced the joy, peace and contentment that come when we serve God in the way He’s gifted us to do. We should also consider our relationships as we look at stewardship of our talents. Think of your relationships with friends and family members¬are you using your talents to help them follow Jesus? God has given us the talents we have so that we can help strengthen others.

When people use their abilities for God, an exciting thing occurs¬a diverse yet unified body functions more efficiently and serves as a better witness to the value and joy of following Christ. Since every person possesses different abilities and spiritual gifts, the body of Christ can fully function only when everyone takes advantage of what God has given them. Romans 12:6 tells us, “And since we have different gifts that differ according to the grace given to us, let us exercise them accordingly.”

Each of us should be content with what God has given and exult in our own uniqueness. “Now there are varieties of gifts,” Paul said to the Corinthians, “but the same Spirit. And there are varieties of ministries, and the same Lord. And there are varieties of effects, but the same God who works all things in all persons” (1 Corinthians 12:4-6).

When everyone does what he or she has been created to do, God’s will is also accomplished more readily. In fulfilling the Great Commission, for example, if all believers were to apply their specific talents to the task of making disciples, the gospel would spread more quickly and have a greater impact.

Luke was a man who understood stewardship. As a physician, he was most likely exact, and he used this precision to write detailed accounts of Jesus and the beginning of the church. Luke wrote his gospel “so that you might know the exact truth about the things you have been taught” (Luke 1:4). By willingly using his ability to clearly present facts, an accurate account has been preserved throughout time.

And we today, by opening our hearts to the gifts God has given us, can not only further God’s kingdom and find greater fulfillment in life, but can also give a heartfelt “thank you” to the one who so graciously bestowed upon us so many gifts in the first place.”

http://www.worldwidechallenge.org/content/tending-our-talents

Good Times with Life Long Friend

 

 

It is far a few between that we find a true friend.  Jesse and I have known each other since we were 5.  Through the years we have been in and out of each others lives but always pick up where we left off.  He has met a beautiful woman who is now his wife and I could not be happier for him.  To think we used to live in an imagery world of being silly hearts and now we are adults.

I thoroughly enjoyed his visit and teared up when they left.  As I get older, I seem to do that.  It just seems like yesterday we were super heroes climbing trees and getting into mischief.  With love in my heart, I think the world of you Jesse.

50 THINGS MY INNER GODDESS ENCOURAGES ME TO DO DAILY

 

1. Be the girl who isn’t afraid to laugh at herself, who still manages to pull off the worst of jokes, and can effortlessly brighten a room with the sound of her laughter. (Accomplishing, Yay!)

 2. Be the girl who is self-aware and recognizes her own flaws. The girl who continually strives to better herself. (Work in Progress)

3. Be the girl who is comfortable in her own skin; the girl that doesn’t let her insecurities stand in the way of her happiness. Be the girl who knows it’s okay to have insecurities but it’s not okay to give those insecurities the power to eat away at her. (Work in Progress)
4. Be the girl whom friends can call at 2 in the morning with a problem. Be the girl willing to drop everything for the people she loves. Don’t, however, be the girl who lets people walk all over her. (Praying every day for the strength!)

5. Be the girl who is willing to take risks. Be the girl who can experiment and try new things without losing sight of her values. (Work in Progress)
6. Be the girl who refuses to let a man dull the sparkle in her eyes. (It will be a slow process, but I can already feel a twinkle!)

7. Be the girl who knows how to choose her battles wisely. Be the girl who will fight for what she believes in, but not fight for the sake of fighting. (Work in Progress)

8. Be the girl who knows how to apologize for her mistakes. Be the girl who refuses to apologize for her feelings, beliefs, or morals. (I’ve always apologized for my mistakes, but need strength to stand up for my feelings, beliefs and morals!)
9. Be the girl you’d want your son to bring home to you. (Ouch!)
10. Be the girl that has faith in something bigger than herself. It can be faith in anything — just always have some type of faith. (I’ve let Jesus take the wheel – Letting God and Letting Go!)

11. Be the girl who can take a compliment graciously. (This will take time, for now, I just smile)
12. Be the girl who is humble in her achievements. (Accomplishing, Yay!)
13. Be the girl that wears her heart on her sleeve, who is capable of being vulnerable, who can live without fear of being brokenhearted. Be the girl that can have the strength to be hurt but not broken. (Heart has always been on my sleeve, just need to learn to get my kiks on at the sight of the first red flag and not try to save the world)

14. Be the girl unafraid to sing at the top of her lungs, even if it’s off key. Be the girl willing to dance like an idiot without fear of what others will think. (Singing and Dancing!!!! Accomplishing!!!)

15. Be the girl who is capable of doing things on her own, but don’t be afraid to be the girl who asks for help when she needs it. (I have always been capable of doing things on my own – I’ve just always been afraid to ask for help – on my to do list….)
16. Be the girl who is smart enough to know when it’s time to let something or someone go. (Enrolled in Letting Go 101)

17. Be the girl who has a thirst for knowledge, who sees beauty in the world around her and constantly strives to learn more about it. (Everyday, Yay!)
18. Be the girl who is compassionate and empathetic; who will lend a hand when she can to a complete stranger, and who will listen without a judgmental ear. (Accomplishing, Yay!)
19. Be the girl who sees the best in people, but does not ignore the worst. (Oh, I see the best in people – working on not ignoring the worst)
20. Be the girl that can take her own advice. (In progress)
21. Be the girl who knows how to forgive. Be the girl who knows how to gracefully accept an apology. Be the girl who, when she accepts an apology, doesn’t bring the issue up again at a future time in an unrelated fight. (When one is burned over and over – it is difficult, but on my list)

22. Be the girl who sticks to her words. Be the girl who does every thing within her power to not break a promise. (In progress)
23. Be the girl who is willing to get her hands a little dirty.  (Everyday, Yay!)

24. Be the girl who leads instead of follows. (In progress)
25. Be the realistic girl; the one who has reasonable standards and doesn’t compromise for them. (In progress)
26. Be the girl who refuses to settle for anything less than she absolutely deserves. (In progress)

27. Be the girl who lives by the rule of thumb that if you wouldn’t say it to someone’s face, don’t say it behind their back. (Everyday, Yay!)
28. Be the skeptical girl; the one who listens to rumors without thinking they’re absolute facts, and the one who will not participate in mean-spirited gossip. (In progress)

29. Be the girl who gives other people the benefit of the doubt. (I do, to a fault – In progress)
30. Be the girl who works for what she wants. Be the girl who would rather earn her way rather than cheat her way through life. (Accomplished-Just need to find friends with the same values)

31. Be the girl who does not need a significant other in her life, who can thrive on her own, and does not need someone else’s affection to validate her self-worth. (Staying single for now)

32. Be the girl who looks for an equal in a romantic partner, not a superior or a subordinate. (Staying single for now)
33. Be the girl who owns her sexuality, who is unashamed of it, and who can be sexual in a physically and mentally healthy way. Be the girl who will not let anyone else own her sexuality. (Accomplishing, Yay!)
34. Be the girl who is able to express herself in ways that words cannot.

35. Be the girl who sees beauty in imperfection. (Accomplishing, Yay!)
36. Be the girl who does not need to put others down in order to feel better about herself. (In progress)
37. Be the girl who is kind to everyone, not just her equals or superiors. (In progress)

38. Be the girl who knows when to listen and when to speak. (In progress)
39. Be the girl who uses her hands and her words to heal rather than to harm. (Healing)
40. Be the girl who can think for herself, who takes others’ opinions into consideration, and only alters her worldview at her own discretion. (Accomplishing, Yay!)
41. Be the girl is playful. Be the girl who knows the appropriate times to be serious and to have fun. (Accomplishing, Yay!)

42. Be the girl who is comfortable with silence. (Accomplishing, Yay!)
43. Be the girl who gives her all in a relationship, fearlessly. Be the girl who does not hold a man in comparison to the men of her past. Be the girl who does not let past hurts affect a current relationship. (When the time comes, this will be tough, I believe God will help me get through this hurdle)

44. Be the girl who is an open book, who is unashamed of any past mistakes. (In progress)
45. Be the girl who owns her fears. Be the girl unafraid to admit she has fears. Be the girl willing to overcome fears. (In progress)
46. Be the girl who learns from the past. Be the girl who does not dwell on what she did or didn’t do, but accepts it for something she cannot change. (In progress)
47. Be the girl who can have a conversation with just about anyone. (Accomplishing, Yay!)

48. Be the girl with a firm handshake. (Accomplishing, Yay!)
49. Be the girl who will look people in the eyes as she speaks to them, who chooses her words wisely, and thinks before she makes a major decision. (Accomplishing, Yay!)

50. Be the girl who recognizes that possessing these traits makes her a woman. (Work in Progress)

 

STRENGTH

Each morning I read my devotional of God’s faithfulness to me and my family. In fact, I read it out loud and it has truly made a difference in my attitude.

“We are bombarded on all sides by the media, family and friends, co-workers and even enemies. They all have a certain identity that they want to assign to us. We have a choice. No one makes us feel inferior without our permission. We will become what we allow our heart and mind to dwell on. An old saying says it well. ”You can’t keep a bird from flying over your head but you can keep it from building a nest in your hair.” In other words, it is impossible to avoid destructive thinking entirely. We will be tempted. We will have negative thoughts and temptations, but we do not have to allow them to dwell in our mind. God has given us a “garbage disposal” for the mind.

Philippians 4:8 “Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable–if anything is excellent or praiseworthy–think about such things.””

Today I understand that I have no control. People form judgments, gossip, spread lies, etc. and use those tools as weapons to bring one down to their level. I understand this now and I am rising above it. My only prayer to God the past few days is for strength, while challenging at times, he has given me the tools I need to get me through the day.

 I see the morning moving over the hills

I can see the shadows on the western side

And all those illusions that I had

They just vanish in Your light.

 

Though the chill in the night still hangs in the air

I can feel the warmth of morning on my face

Though the storm had tossed me

‘Til I thought I’d nearly lost my way

 

And now the night is fading and the storm is past

And everything that could be shaken was shaken

And all that remains is all I ever really had

 

What I’d have settled for

You’ve blown so far away

What You brought me to

I thought I could not reach.

And I came so close to giving up

But You never did give up on me.

 

I see the morning moving over the hills

I feel the rush of life here where the darkness broke

And I am in You and You’re in me

Here where the winds of Heaven blow.

 

And now the night is fading

And the storm is through

And everything You sent to shake me

From my dreams they come to wake me

In the love I find in You

And now the morning comes

And everything that really matters

Become the wings You send to gather me

To my home

To my home

I’m going home…”

Tiffany

 

Tiffany my kittie has been with me in Austin, Bastrop, Boston, San Antonio and Galveston.  Yesterday she said goodbye to the world.  For the past few nights I knew she wasn’t feeling well, so I would put her in bed with me and she would lay cuddled up next to me.  Wednesday night, I knew something was wrong as her breathing became labored, I wept, it was the first time in almost about a year since I’ve felt any real feelings.  I made the decision to have her put to sleep Thursday morning, the pain and agony I felt was debilitating.  I cuddled up next to her and gently stroked her head, and she gave me every last bit of purrr she had left in her.  We slept through the night and in the morning, as I was getting ready, Tiffany let out several mew’s, I knew this was it.  I held her in my arms as she gasped for air, I kissed her head, held her so close and told her how much I loved her.  My son came in and put his arms around us.  I could see the pain in his eyes, he was trying to be strong.

Yesterday, I stayed strong and went to work.  I came home, had a drink to numb the pain and buried her by myself.  I placed a little heart of shells on her grave. 

Today, no matter how hard to I try to pack down those feelings – they are flooding to the surface.  I wish this work day would be over so I can go home, shut the world out, crawl up in a little ball and weep.

The sadness rips at my heartstrings.  It is during times like these when you need your friends and loved ones to be there – but somehow, I am alone.