Monthly Archives: July 2014
What is one of the greatest gifts of all? Self-Discovery and discovering you and your partner have a lot more in common than you originally thought.
When you begin to realize that your partner gives you unconditional love and acceptance it makes a HUGE difference. Previous relationships, marriages, etc. have dictated a certain role – beating us down into submission – losing our voice to say “I AM LION HEAR ME ROAR!” We created coping mechanisms and ways to suppress our true inner self. But, if you listen to the things your partner says, you just might hear the kitten giving subtle “mews.”
For me, from the very beginning, I knew I was adopted. People would ask me if I knew how special I was because I was “chosen.” I’d give them a crooked smile, run off with my blond hair bouncing behind me, yelling “Catch Me If You Can.” I was such a free-spirit, a dreamer, a silly-heart. Fireflies intrigued me, and cat tails were magic wands to worlds of great imagination. Green slimy frogs, fuzzy caterpillars and grass snakes made me giggle. Fields of honey wheat were just mystical mazes of tomfoolery. At that time, nothing seemed beyond my reach.
When I learned to write my letters it became an art. Instead of mastering the concept, it became a process of drawing them, like Picasso painted his masterpieces. I had no fear, I was curious as all get out and made no qualms about investigating, even if it meant taking something apart and putting it back together again – or not, lol.
The love of laughing and loving my friends was enchanting. I was such a tomboy, I hated wearing dresses. Most of my friends were boys, but at that time no one cared, we were just kids – it also made for some serious rough and tumble, down and dirty, knee deep in mud kind of escapades. There was never any reason for concern and it was rarely, if ever a question – it was always FULL STEAM AHEAD… Yes, we got in TROUBLE a LOT, but back then, WE ROARED through it!
Today, some of us are blessed, as God has given us the ability to hear those soft mews, to understand them and ignite an epiphany that for once in your adult life, you have found someone who you are FREE to ROAR with!
So when asked “Can Kristen come out and play?” that blond haired, free-spirit, silly-hearted little girl will not only bust open the screen door and take off running – she will yell “TAG YOUR IT”
4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
8 Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away.
1 Corinthians 13:4-8New International Version (NIV)
Love…..It is defined by the one who is Love.
Why is it that when one is self-destructive, it hurts us the most to watch?
So let’s say you go into a store with the sole purpose to purchase a personal product with your, ummm, hypothetically of course, “friend”. As you mosey down the aisle you begin to notice many other products around the one you are looking for. All the sudden your “friend” starts giggling…. pointing things out… and giving snippets of commentary…. Which turns into full blown laughter.
His laughter is so contagious, that I am laughing so hard that I am crying, my legs are crossing, I’m bending over and I am praying to God to NOT let me pee my pants. I scoot over to another aisle in hopes to pull myself together.
My “friend” delightfully follows me giving me a detailed interpretation of the many uses for the various products we pass by, such a Depends=Space Diapers, Preparation H=Wrinkle Cream, and etc. Of course we end up in the Digestive Health section with a plethora of butt creams, suppositories, diarrhea and anti-farting medicines, which, by this point – crossing my legs is now useless.
Then my “friend” takes even more delight in abandoning me in said aisle while I pee my pants. Yes folks! I peed my pants whilst he ran 6 aisles away from me (actually running like he stole something – I could only see the back of his head bobbing up and down over the aisles), leaving me there to stare at a very large bottle of Miralax that he handed me before he peace’d out.
Holding my head up high, I was finally able to pull myself together. I noticed there was only one person at the register so I believed I could make a b-line, check out quickly and escape further humiliation. However; as I approached the register, my “friend” popped out of nowhere – egging the situation on even further. I turned and my only solace was a giant M&M character smiling at me, so I grabbed him for dear life and buried my face in his little peanut hands trying to salvage what little dignity I had left.
I slowly rose and sauntered over to the register, the woman checking out in front of me, needed some kind of price check and I was forced to stand there, looking at the ceiling, refusing to make eye contact with my “friend”. At that point it seemed like every shopper in the store decided it was time to check out and they all stacked up behind me.
The laughter again reared its ugly head with a big “OH SHIT” moment as I handed the check-out lady my “1” product. She smiled and told me to have a “GREAT evening”.
What happens when you can’t define Love, because what you thought was Love, might not have really been love at all? Maybe all along you had no real baseline. Maybe the social norms of society made us conform and settle.
What happens when you meet someone and you can’t put the feelings into words – ? The feelings are so strong, that you may have discovered something new about yourself and have a higher understanding of the powers beyond your control.
Do things happen for a reason? As humans we create micro and macro taxonomies; creating, evaluating, analyzing, applying, understanding, remembering, categorizing, labeling, shuffling, relabeling, etc. Why can’t we just accept that there are things beyond our control and we have been given a gift. We should accept it and move forward.
Instead of asking why, who, what, where, etc. just “Let Love and Let God.”
Well, since Thursday my sleep pattern has been up and down. Last night at 2AM, my body decided it was time for me to get up and not go back to sleep. Sitting at work I am starting to go crossed-eyed, we’ve all been to this point where we are exhausted, we haven’t been sleeping, our body aches, stressed out, and all of a sudden… everything is funny. Yes, folks I have a case of the Simples today.
Fight or Flight
There are times when my anxiety gets the best of me and I want to get my kiks on and bolt. My body is basically telling me “fuck this shit”, “peace out”, “deuces”. Example: at the onset of my parents having a disagreement, I am already tying up the laces of my kiks.
The fight in me I refer to as my Inner Goddess. She cusses like a sailor, spits like a cowboy and can brandish a sword like no one’s business. She doesn’t take no for an answer and is fierce when defending her peeps.
I am notorious for laughing inappropriately. In this particular situation, God help anyone who brings me into a situation which requires focus and an intellectual exchange. There is no way in hell I will be able to hold it together – and I am sure a random drug test would be on order.
All in all – I will not be running with scissors today.