Dating in Your 40’s – The Good, Part 3

THE GOOD

Mr. The One

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How to spot him:  This is the one that makes you stop seeing all the others you’ve encountered to date. He makes you forget all the others who have you shaking your head. He’s the one who finally makes sense after all the insanity you’ve endured as a dating divorcée.

Why you should go for it:  He loves you unconditionally, suits you in the ways that matter, fits you – with your eyes wide open, and makes you wonder why you’ve wasted time dating any of the others! It may take months to find him or it may take years.  Even his baggage seems to complement yours – a matching set, for better or worse. So if you’re lucky enough to find Mr. The One, hang on tight – there is likely only one of him!

Mr. Provider

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How to spot him:  He puts family first, always. He’s a selfless man, who lives to please those he cares most about. He’s the kind of man who can work two jobs in his sleep, always has a side-hustle in mind to earn more money, and guards his savings with his life. He can’t rest until he knows the ones he loves are okay. He strives for perfection at home and in the office. Work-life balance is very important to him, but if missing time with his loved ones means a better life for them, he’s always game to put in the overtime and take one for the team. Words like “no,” “can’t,” and “impossible,” are just not in his vocabulary, and when he hears others use them, it only increases his devotion to the task at hand.

Why you should go for it:  Marriage is the start of a new family — your family. You will both want to provide for the family you create together, and it’s imperative that you are partners with the same goals in mind. That said, there will be times when one person just cannot do as much as the marriage (or family) requires — such is life. Marrying a natural-born provider will be a huge plus when the scales in your marriage tip, as they inevitably will at different points along your path.

Mr. Rock

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How to spot him:  At your weakest moments, his strength keeps you stable and inspires you to push through. He isn’t immune to pain or frustration, but he does handle it well, and he knows how to pull himself out of low places. He’s the kind of man who never misses your call when he knows you need to get something off your chest, or better, just a friend to be there for you. Speaking of chests, his is always there for you to lean on, squeeze, and find comfort in when it feels like only a hug will do.

Why you should go for it:  He’s loyal, devoted, and a true pillar in the world of the woman he loves. This is the perfect recipe for a loving husband that you can count on through thick and thin; what woman doesn’t dream of marrying one of these?

Mr. Critical Thinker

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How to spot him:  There isn’t a problem, big or small, that he isn’t itching to solve. He’s a quick, solid, thinker, who hates to be backed into a corner. He doesn’t just see the problem in front of him; he sees a road map of the many solutions available to him and takes his time as he determines the best way to get there, or the course of action he must take. He is patient, because he has to be — rushing things is rarely the answer and he knows this. He’s diligent, focused, and considers himself a mental Olympian of sorts.

Why you should go for it:  Marriage is truly beautiful, but it comes with its share of problems, and its rough patches. Happier times aren’t always just around the bend — getting there may require a detailed plan and thinking smarter, not harder. He will make a great team player during the moments where the only way to win is to work together, and trust me, those moments can and will arise in marriage.

Mr. Believer

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How to spot him:  When the world around him comes crumbling down and the sun seems as if it will never rise again, this man still believes — his faith is his foundation. It gets him through the good and the bad, and it never falters. He believes in the things unseen and those that many give up on when the world turns cold: hope, morals, kindness, and good will. He has a church home, or a religious mainstay in his life and the fellowship refuels his engines. He’s God-fearing (whoever his God) and he’s proud of his strong beliefs. His moral compass is always turned in a positive direction, and he refuses to accept failure. He helps others and chooses to live his life in a way he believes others should live theirs.

Why you should go for it:  This man has the emotional tools needed in his toolbox to repair many of the cracks and dents that will inevitably appear in any marriage. He’s a fighter, and he will fight with you and for your marriage. He won’t give up, even when you do.

Mr. Free Spirit

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How to spot him:  Spending time with this man never gets old. He believes that life is about living and therefore is virtually immune to the physical afflictions caused by stress and worry. It’s not that he doesn’t feel those emotions; he just refuses to let them consume him. He stays positive and seeks to enjoy all aspects of his life, as much as humanly possible. He has most likely chosen a career he loves over one that pays all the bills. Therefore he’s just as passionate about his work as he can be about feeding his cravings for new adventures. He enjoys traveling and most likely has a bucket list at least a quarter complete. He doesn’t believe in wasting time worrying about what can’t happen and prefers to shift his focus to what can. With him, there’s never a dull moment at home, in the bedroom, or when you’re out and about. His inner light shines through and warms the spirits of those around him. He keeps life exciting — almost as if, each day he presses the refresh button.

Why you should go for it:  Spending the rest of your life with the same person, doing many of the same things can be as boring or as exciting as you make it. Marrying this man ensures that one pitfall your marriage won’t ever fall into is that of pure and utter boredom. It sounds simple, but it’s so important.

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About Hiding2014-2016

2016 Life is what it is and you just have to get through it. 2014 I started blogging just a short time ago, it actually feels good. I've made some new friends and soliciting feedback from others who have experienced similar life events helps me to not feel so alone. So we all have bumps in the road, we make poor decisions - we are only human. It is these life experiences who make us who we are today. There is no need to have regret, just move forward. Ok, easier said than done, because as you read my profile, sometimes I take a step forward and then two steps back.

Posted on January 12, 2017, in Bad Boys, Bits and pieces, Bullshit, Care, College, Cool Chicks, Cool girls, Dating, Divorce, Divorce Sucks, Feel better, Finger Paint, Furry, Fuzzy, Happy, Health Relationship, Healthy Relatinships, Love, Mate Selection, My Life Over 40, Nice Guys, Professional Growth for Women??? - 10 Part Series, Rebound, Relationships suck, Shattered, Shot in the butt, Smart Women, Smarty Pants, Take your pants off, Uncategorized, Vail, Weekend, What women want, Whole again. Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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