Category Archives: Professional Growth for Women??? – 10 Part Series

Dating in Your 40’s – The Good, Part 3

THE GOOD

Mr. The One

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How to spot him:  This is the one that makes you stop seeing all the others you’ve encountered to date. He makes you forget all the others who have you shaking your head. He’s the one who finally makes sense after all the insanity you’ve endured as a dating divorcée.

Why you should go for it:  He loves you unconditionally, suits you in the ways that matter, fits you – with your eyes wide open, and makes you wonder why you’ve wasted time dating any of the others! It may take months to find him or it may take years.  Even his baggage seems to complement yours – a matching set, for better or worse. So if you’re lucky enough to find Mr. The One, hang on tight – there is likely only one of him!

Mr. Provider

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How to spot him:  He puts family first, always. He’s a selfless man, who lives to please those he cares most about. He’s the kind of man who can work two jobs in his sleep, always has a side-hustle in mind to earn more money, and guards his savings with his life. He can’t rest until he knows the ones he loves are okay. He strives for perfection at home and in the office. Work-life balance is very important to him, but if missing time with his loved ones means a better life for them, he’s always game to put in the overtime and take one for the team. Words like “no,” “can’t,” and “impossible,” are just not in his vocabulary, and when he hears others use them, it only increases his devotion to the task at hand.

Why you should go for it:  Marriage is the start of a new family — your family. You will both want to provide for the family you create together, and it’s imperative that you are partners with the same goals in mind. That said, there will be times when one person just cannot do as much as the marriage (or family) requires — such is life. Marrying a natural-born provider will be a huge plus when the scales in your marriage tip, as they inevitably will at different points along your path.

Mr. Rock

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How to spot him:  At your weakest moments, his strength keeps you stable and inspires you to push through. He isn’t immune to pain or frustration, but he does handle it well, and he knows how to pull himself out of low places. He’s the kind of man who never misses your call when he knows you need to get something off your chest, or better, just a friend to be there for you. Speaking of chests, his is always there for you to lean on, squeeze, and find comfort in when it feels like only a hug will do.

Why you should go for it:  He’s loyal, devoted, and a true pillar in the world of the woman he loves. This is the perfect recipe for a loving husband that you can count on through thick and thin; what woman doesn’t dream of marrying one of these?

Mr. Critical Thinker

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How to spot him:  There isn’t a problem, big or small, that he isn’t itching to solve. He’s a quick, solid, thinker, who hates to be backed into a corner. He doesn’t just see the problem in front of him; he sees a road map of the many solutions available to him and takes his time as he determines the best way to get there, or the course of action he must take. He is patient, because he has to be — rushing things is rarely the answer and he knows this. He’s diligent, focused, and considers himself a mental Olympian of sorts.

Why you should go for it:  Marriage is truly beautiful, but it comes with its share of problems, and its rough patches. Happier times aren’t always just around the bend — getting there may require a detailed plan and thinking smarter, not harder. He will make a great team player during the moments where the only way to win is to work together, and trust me, those moments can and will arise in marriage.

Mr. Believer

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How to spot him:  When the world around him comes crumbling down and the sun seems as if it will never rise again, this man still believes — his faith is his foundation. It gets him through the good and the bad, and it never falters. He believes in the things unseen and those that many give up on when the world turns cold: hope, morals, kindness, and good will. He has a church home, or a religious mainstay in his life and the fellowship refuels his engines. He’s God-fearing (whoever his God) and he’s proud of his strong beliefs. His moral compass is always turned in a positive direction, and he refuses to accept failure. He helps others and chooses to live his life in a way he believes others should live theirs.

Why you should go for it:  This man has the emotional tools needed in his toolbox to repair many of the cracks and dents that will inevitably appear in any marriage. He’s a fighter, and he will fight with you and for your marriage. He won’t give up, even when you do.

Mr. Free Spirit

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How to spot him:  Spending time with this man never gets old. He believes that life is about living and therefore is virtually immune to the physical afflictions caused by stress and worry. It’s not that he doesn’t feel those emotions; he just refuses to let them consume him. He stays positive and seeks to enjoy all aspects of his life, as much as humanly possible. He has most likely chosen a career he loves over one that pays all the bills. Therefore he’s just as passionate about his work as he can be about feeding his cravings for new adventures. He enjoys traveling and most likely has a bucket list at least a quarter complete. He doesn’t believe in wasting time worrying about what can’t happen and prefers to shift his focus to what can. With him, there’s never a dull moment at home, in the bedroom, or when you’re out and about. His inner light shines through and warms the spirits of those around him. He keeps life exciting — almost as if, each day he presses the refresh button.

Why you should go for it:  Spending the rest of your life with the same person, doing many of the same things can be as boring or as exciting as you make it. Marrying this man ensures that one pitfall your marriage won’t ever fall into is that of pure and utter boredom. It sounds simple, but it’s so important.

Christmas 2016 – Vail

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Sunkissed mountains~! (photo by Ilona Rybalchenko)

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Sonny Bunny~! (photo by Ilona Rybalchenko)


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Winter Wonderland (photo by Ilona Rybalchenko)!

 

 

 

 

Christmas 2016 – Colorado Springs

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Ahhh, beautiful Colorado Springs!

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Winter wonderland at the Broadmoor Hotel, a train made completely out of sweets!

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Headed to the top of Pike’s Peak!

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A gift from my one and only love, my son.

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If You Take Your Pants Off You’ll Feel Better

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Life is full of ups, downs and all arounds.  Thinking of ways to soothe our soul and calm ourselves are things we are not so good at.  We would rather be stressed out, freaked out, on edge or going ninety to nothin’.  Here is a list of top ten ways to feel better:

#10  th100i24o7

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Find a piece of cardboard, stand by an intersection and solicit your fellow drivers for things you want, such as candy, hugs, a date or whatever suits your fancy!

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Purchase a pill organizer and load up your favorite treats, be sure to pull it out in front of your co-workers, as it will surely give them something to talk about.

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Go to the local zoo or anyplace that offers train rides.  

Make sure you sit next to the person who looks like they are having the worst day and then give them something to laugh about.  

Be sure to include them in #7, #6, #5, #4 & #3

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Find a group of strangers and make friends, see if you can find one who will be attached to you at the hip for some fun and shenanigans!

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Pull out your camera and get creative with your new found friends!

#5painteverywhere

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Don’t be shy!  Get to fingering painting!  You all will enjoy basking in the glow of your new designer duds!  

Be sure to go to your local fountain to wash off, it will provide entertainment not just for you and your new friends,

but also all the innocent bystanders!

#4massage-circle

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See how many people you all can get together to make a giant circle massage in your local park!  

Be sure to do this close to a patch of mud (see #3).

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Quietly sneak over to a fresh patch of mud and start slingin’!  

Then get ready for some pig squeelin’, hog sloppin’, dirty fun!  

Let the games begin!

#2Get Him to the Greek

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For real peace, quiet and calmness pet something furry!  

Whether it be a wall, fuzzy cat or a squishy panda, just fluff yourself all over it and make cuddles!

 

AND THE #1 THINGS TO DO TO MAKE YOURSELF FEEL BETTER:khaleesi-take-off-your-clothes

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Take Your Damn Pants Off – You’ll Feel Much Better!

Well I can check “REBOUND” off my list…… GRRRR

I looked up rebound and found that one could assume you are…

“psychologically incapable of making reasonable decisions regarding suitable 
partners due to emotional neediness, lingering feelings towards the old partner, 
or unresolved problems from the previous relationship.”

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THE STRUGGLE IS REAL, FOLKS!

Apparently, I just rebounded…. BOING! BOING! BOING!  Another punch to the gut…  I should have written that on my forehead with a sharpie.

In other words, the rebound relationship is characterized by some or all of the following:

  • Brief period since the breakup or first emotional relationship since the breakup – CHECK

  • Transference of unresolved feelings since the breakup – CHECK

  • Emotional vulnerability, desire to be distracted from pain, belief that one love cures the pain of another, fear of being alone – CHECK

3 out of 3, I like to win but come on!… SHEESH!  Wyatt Earp was right…  another punch to the gut, hmmm, let me see that is 5 to 1, Wyatt is still in the lead on the lessons of brutal honesty…

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My Rebound Relationship Experience

In my own experience, I’ve just involved myself in a “transitional” relationship. In other words, I gradually learned from and distancing myself from destructive traits that my ex possessed, the men I typically attract and the familiarity that I felt in dealing with them.

Not long after I began dating after divorce, I found myself in “puppy love” with a man who could not have been MORE different than my ex.  I was hungry for his attentiveness. I was blissful in his capacity for emotional intimacy. I fell hard and fast, freaked out, and then the relationship slowly dissolved – was heartbroken (thanks to my newly acquired power of numbing, my GIRL POWER is back in check). He is a great guy, everything someone would want in a partner in more ways than one ;o), but our timing was off – I’m just not ready, plain and simple.

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They say “heartbreak” won’t kill you and you can and will love again after divorce, but vulnerability can certainly encourage distorted judgment.  Still working on my VULNERABILITY theory…. However, I still question if one can really ever love again after divorcing someone they were initially head over heels in love with.  I hear the words coming out of his mouth, but…..

Can the rebound relationship become something solid and endure? It certainly could happen, but I think one would need to take the time necessary to be sure it’s more than momentary magic or a tempting transition.  So slowing down and going to take the time to see if can endure.

In other news….. thinking about becoming blonde again….

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Ice Cream Eaters Untie!

Regardless of our age or who we are, we always revert to our childhood ways when eating ice cream.

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Spider Monkey’s:  These scavengers waste nothing!  They attack their ice cream like a spider monkey would attack a human as if he were on angel dust.  In their personal lives they are a total whirlwind… of success!  Spider Monkey’s are tenacious and their ambitions lead them to great victories. They are basically the poster children for #goals and nothing holds them back in life. If you could siphon some of that crazy energy and momentum into the rest of us, that would be great, ­thanks!

 

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The Licker:  Licker’s are methodical and calculating when eating their ice cream.  Always scanning the room and those around them as they lick their cone slowly…. ever so slowly (kind of like a tiger stalking its prey).  It is said the Licker is more pessimistic than you would think. Licker’s are also analytic and decisive.  Their friends call them an “old souls” because they are typically home by 11, but really they just like to stick to a routine. Their home is full of vintage items, not because they’re trendy, but because they truly don’t make things like they used to — which is also why they still keep that old flip phone in a junk drawer somewhere. In their spare time, Licker’s read classic works of fiction and a fair amount of their sentences begin with “I was listening to public radio and…”

 

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Dapper Dan:  Dapper Dan’s take care and pride when eating their ice cream.  They pay attention to every detail, making sure not to drip a single drop.  Dapper Dan’s are passionate people, and are often made very upset by even small injustices, like when someone doesn’t hold the door open for the person behind them. Growing up, they were president of the class and the captain of a debate team, and in their spare time they volunteered at a local animal shelter. Their loved ones will often tell you that they are stretching themselves too thin, and their therapist recommended they start telling people “no” more often, but in reality they just enjoy helping others and being part of a community, even if it means being sleep-deprived. They also haven’t done laundry in a month.

 

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Scavenger: Scavengers waste nothing, they take no prisoners, they just take what they want and when it comes to ice cream, there is no exception.  They thrive on experiencing new things.  Scavenger’s don’t jump on trends because it’s the cool thing to do; they jump on trends because it’s a new and exciting adventure. #YOLO, amirite? They’ve tried yoga, they’ve gone to a sip-and-paint class, they French press their coffee and they are most likely baking their way through the Momofuku Milk Bar book right now. They just keep on keeping on.

 

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Thug Life:  Thug Lifer’s make eating ice cream seem cool and seamless.  They are about as chill as your ice cream. They don’t get worked up over nothing, and they’re content just rolling with the punches. Because of this, Thug Lifer’s are not afraid of a little (or a lot of) of indulgence, and why should they be? A handful of cookie dough never hurt anyone… right? Milk and cookies, huh? They know how to be an adult, but they are a total kid at heart. They might even still thumb through comic books and play video games with no pants on. (That’s acceptable, right?) Despite all their successes in life, they refuse to give up their true self, and that should be celebrated. Preferably with cookies smashed into ice cream. They heckle at sporting events, and sarcasm is their middle name. Though sometimes a bit rambunctious and (playfully) cocky, they are a true solid friend once people get to know them. Their pals can depend on them for pretty much anything, anytime. They have a big personality with an even bigger heart… but we’ll keep that last part on the down-­low.

 

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Chubby Bunnies:  Chubby Bunnies are sassy and poised when taking a lick, they do it with such style and confidence that no one ever questions them.  They certainly don’t need a man, they just need ice cream.  Chubby Bunnies are likely to be flirtatious and seductive, and also lively, charming, dramatic, and gullible.  They tend to be dramatic and approach life with “gusto.” They don’t really care about the future and thrive on the “passion of the moment,” needing constant stimulation in a romantic relationship.

 

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The Fury:  This ice cream is the only thing keeping him sane right now.  Keeping one eye on you making sure you don’t make any sudden moves.  ‘nough said… yeesh!

 

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The Warrior:  Warrior’s come complete with game face — there’s nothing dainty about their methods.  If they could, they would yell “CHARGE” upon entering the ice cream parlor.  If there’s more than one option to pick from, they are inclined to go with “all”. As a kid, they smooshed multiple double-stuff cookies together to create towering, creme-filled, edible towers of Pisa, as a teenager, they mixed all the soda flavors they could fit in their cup. This isn’t a hunger thing — they just legitimately love to create, and probably have an extreme respect for impressionist painters. They are also the sort who never match their socks, and have never used an iron, and never will.

 

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BFF:   BFF’s love to eat ice cream with their friends.  They love sharing stories and giggling until all hours of the night.  They are old souls who find joy in life’s simplest moments, or… fine. They’ll just say it.  Despite being a bit of a wallflower, they have an effervescent spirit, and everyone needs a friend like them to keep them balanced. BFF’s are well rooted and family oriented, and they try to see the good in everyone. Even if they living in a big city, they possess the modest characteristics of small-town folk.  BFF’s are one of the easiest people to get along with. They’re affable and thoughtful, and they are willing to go the extra mile for those they care about, with no expectations in return. With all that considered, BFF’s are obviously pretty great to spend time with,­ especially for those of their friends who are a little on the anxious side. 

 

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The Biter:  Be weary of Biters, as they sometimes can be extremely aggressive people.  Biter’s have a profound amount of ambition, confidence, frugalness and are argumentative. They aren’t fully satisfied until they find the tarnish on the silver lining.  You see how they approach their ice cream, you have been warned.

 

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The Hot Mess (this one deserved three contestants):  HM’s are ambidextrous! They eat their ice cream with the veracity and tenaciousness one would expect from someone who uses all five senses to indulge their every creamy whim.  Hot Messes are all about mixing and matching textures. If they don’t have a shag rug, then they have dreamt about owning one. In fact, they find the ’70s aesthetic in general pretty appealing. They have cultivated a very impressive and cozy collection of pillows, so much so that they may be running short of places to sleep/sit in their house. Hot Messes are truly creative if not eclectic people and they bounce around conversation topics at lightning speed since everything interests them — but they never stop on one thought for too long.

 

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Getting Down to Business (GDB):  The No-Nonsense Approach. GDB’s take their ice cream eating seriously, you might not want to sit next to them at a game or you could end up with ice cream in your eye when their team scores a point.   GDB’s are likely aggressive and engaging, but a good listener.  They are also goal-oriented and often successful, but sometimes their aggressive behavior can “inadvertently hurt the feelings of those that surround him.”   GDB’s are blunt and have zero tolerance for nonsense. They know what they want in life and aren’t going to settle for less ­— the proof is in the cone!  Be real, or get out.

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Dare to be Different:  DTBD’s like when their ice cream gets straight to the point.  They are not indecisive, they’re just very choosy. They have a borderline disturbingly extensive knowledge of wine and food pairings — but striking a balance and finding the complement is kind of their bag (the bag which incidentally matches your shoes on a preternatural level). They know how to look at the big picture, then rearrange elements of the big picture until they all fit perfectly, like a life-sized game of Tetris.  DTBD’s are excellent at planning dinner parties and juggling awkward conversations.

 

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The Day Dreamer:   DD’s savor every moment of their ice cream.  Looking to the sky as if they are thanking God for creating such a masterpiece.  They most likely decorate extensively with their favorite color on par with Prince’s passion for purple. They are people of a magical mind, when they latch onto an idea they dig deep — in college, their thesis advisor probably oscillated between loving and hating them on a pretty regular basis.  DD’s are profound individuals with an amazing sense of self. They are honest, waste no time on judgment and know how to enrich their lives with the most basic means. Sometimes they dream about backpacking abroad; other times they dream about settling into the countryside and growing their own produce.  DD’s can be indecisive AF, but hey, it happens. In a world full of options, decisions are hard for them. They are that same individual who can never decide on a restaurant, which shirt to buy or what drink to order at the bar. Thus, an affinity for the win-win-win trifecta of eating Neapolitan ice cream is good to know.

 

What is your style?  Comments are always welcome!

THE DILEMMA….. THE ANSWER…..

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WHAT WOMEN WANT…  OR THINK THEY WANT….

Ironically, I can attest that women typically always want the Bad Boy.  After years of seeking out this persona I have come to learn (it only took 44 years) that Bad Boys are … not for me.

Women approach mate selection by over emphasizing false dichotomies – bad boy/asshole vs nice guy as if all men fit into one box or the other (I am just as guilty). Unfortunately the boxes we create are further from reality and the truth.  With today’s media women believe Bad Boys are really the soft-hearted, loyal mates we read about in romance novels and see in movies.  We make them into fictional characters upon meeting them and convince ourselves that they are really only in “Love” with us.  In reality, this is so far from the truth that it hurts to even think about it.

I’ve read over and over again women want two things – good genetics and/or many resources.  Women desire alpha males because they will be successful – no matter what.  Good genetics in a social society is an outgoing self-confident personality.  Self-confidence means focusing on goals rather than a woman. When a man is making something happen, women are incidental (I repeat, incidental).  Thus, a man who finds women trivial to success (I repeat, trivial) will automatically succeed and eventually find a woman whom he will deem to be a show pony to his success.  When he is not around, she can do the gardener if she wants because he is focused elsewhere. But the gardener will never provide the million dollar home, the vacations to the sunshine, or the big rock that can double for a door knob on her finger.  (I can tell you that without a doubt, I am tired of being made to feel “incidental” or “trivial”)

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WHAT IF…

What if women reprogrammed their methodology of mate selection?  What if women turned the tables?  What if women focused on their goals rather than a man?  What if a women found men to be trivial to her success and upon becoming successful found a man who she deemed to be her show pony?

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STOP…

Women are more conscientious than to use someone to be a show pony or find them to be either incidental or trivial; it is just one of the gifts God has bestowed upon us.  So now what?

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FINDING THE RIGHT BALANCE

It can’t always be one-sided, that would be unhealthy.  You want a mate who reciprocates.  A man who is genuine will to go dinner at a place that was chosen by both parties, perhaps even with some friendly banter over which restaurant is preferable. A man who is genuine will offer to pay but certainly won’t force the issue if you throw down your debit card and offer to split the check. A man who is genuine will disagree with you if he disagrees, and argue and talk and have a conversation with peaks and valleys, and intellectual stimulation, but will not make you feel like you’re being pandered to. A man who is genuine will walk you to your door, but will be content with a hug and a friendly wave goodnight. A man who is genuine will never make you feel obligated to do anything.

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MOST IMPORTANTLY – NO DRAMA!  NO EXCESSIVE BAGGAGE!

Try living by these eleven rules…

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You can’t save anyone, so save yourself the time

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Accept yourself

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Be honest with yourself

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Communicate your needs and wants and be sure you know his. With this awareness, you will not be disappointed or frustrated

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Manage your own emotional reactivity

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Avoid being treated poorly

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Be sure you are ready for a relationship and are not going into it feeling needy, desperate, hurt, angry or wounded

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Pace yourself – just enjoy the present and see what happens

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Let the relationship just enhance who you already are, if it doesn’t – peace out… and quick!

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FIGHT FAIRLY – without one person feeling like they always have to give in. Listen, share and validate each other – Compromise….

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Your relationship should be fun, loving and nurturing. A relationship that goes from one state of chaos to another is not healthy.  You deserve a harmonious relationship based on mutual respect and appreciation!

Maybe it is best to wait for the man who is genuine and let him win you over.

WOULD LOVE TO HEAR YOUR THOUGHTS.  PLEASE LEAVE A COMMENT…

Getting Closer to My MBA

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I only have two more semesters left and I will have officially earned my MBA.  What a feeling, what an accomplishment.  I will be the first person in my family to achieve a master’s degree.  As I start looking at my future, I have begun to interview for positions in Santa Barbara, Portland and Las Vegas.  Unfortunately, Santa Barbara did not work out; as they hired an internal candidate; however, I did receive a very nicely written note from one of my interviewers letting me know that I was their first choice for an external candidate.  That boosted my confidence, as my self-esteem was run over by a mack truck…

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Not too sure about Vegas and my phone interview for Portland is on Wednesday.  Keeping my fingers crossed for Portland, the opportunity is an AHHH-MAAAZZING one.  For a kid that dropped out of high school because my teachers told me I would never reach any kind of academic success…  Here’s to you!  Not only will I be getting my masters, I will be graduating with honors (AGAIN).

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Shifting careers in the middle of your life seems almost impossible, but I am coming to find that my background and schooling are actually giving me an edge against my competition.  I have been blessed to work and be mentored by some of the best executives in this country who provided me with a solid foundation of the world of business.

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People always ask me, “What Next?  Will you go for your doctorate?”  Honestly, I don’t know what is next.  If I go for my doctorate it will be definitely be in the field I am most passionate about – Sociology.

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Machiavelli – A Perfect Weekend, Coincidence?

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Life is good.  I feel like I am starting to finally get into my own groove.  Doing things for myself, doing things that I want to do and learning Spanish, it just doesn’t get any better than that!

FRIDAY

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Friday evening was enjoyed with great company, Wyatt Earp, my straight shooter friend did not let me down.  As he strolled into the Cadillac bar, he took his seat where he could view the entire room, of course I was sitting there tap, tap, tapping on my phone and then greeted him with a lackadaisical conformist greeting of “Hey, it is good to see you”, mwa, kiss on the right cheek, mwa, kiss on the left cheek.

Our conversation was delightful with the same brutal honesty that I have come to expect.  We talked about relationships and manifesto’s women whom he has dated have sent to him on what is wrong with him.  While he admits to being an asshole, and of course, I concurred that yes, at times he can be, it is not the type of asshole you would typically encounter.  With a name like Wyatt Earp, one would have some level or arrogance and contempt for outlaws.

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“He was not an angel,” former Tombstone resident George Parsons wrote in 1928, “but his faults were minor ones, and he never killed a man who did not richly deserve it. The real Wyatt led a life that was authentically Western. He was a gambler and a saloon keeper, and he enjoyed the charms of several women. Most of all, he was as tough as men came when toughness earned respect. He was loved and hated, a man who drew strong allegiances and made devoted enemies. Wyatt Earp was a natural leader with a coterie of followers who always believed he did right. He believed it too.”

Do you think if we write manifesto’s, and I am just as guilty, we should preface a negative with at least a positive?  You know like your boss does when he calls you into his office?  Read on, I will answer this question when we get to Sunday.

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My friend Brittany Spears just came in my office and informed me she threw a co-worker under the bus on Friday, but waited until she was about to leave for the day.  That was an asshole move, and yes, she can be an asshole too.

SATURDAY

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Saturday, I had the most incredible massage.  This guy worked me over, I could feel the stress balls release.  I knew that I was going to pay dearly the next couple of days for this guilty pleasure and I can still feel it today.

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I got home and watched 7 straight hours of NARCOS.  I’m not going to lie, I am hooked!  My Spanish vocabulary has increased 10-fold and I am not sure if that is good or bad.  I had no idea of the mayhem and chaos happening in Columbia during the 80s and 90s.  It was pure anarchy.

  • Bomba, Bomba, Bomba,
  • Ustedes eligen, ¿plata o plomo?
  • Coma mierda. Coma. Mierda.
  • el patron
  • Bien o qué?
  • Qué más?
  • Puta
  • hijo de puta
  • hija de puta

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 Pablo Escobar, in my opinion was a true follower of the Machiavellian way (the handbook for gangsters):

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  • States can be republics or kingdoms, old or new. The easiest to rule are old hereditary kingdoms, lands that are passed down from father to son. Basically, instead of passing along their 2001 Toyota Camry, your parents give you a kingdom.  He surely was striving to rule the new kingdom! 

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  • You’d have to be an idiot to have problems ruling one of these. Because they’re so easy to rule, they are hard to take. The best way to take old hereditary kingdoms is by killing the old monarchy. Every last one.  To say the least he seemed to be successful at taking people out at every level! 

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  • Mercenaries and auxiliaries (people you pay to fight for you) are a waste of time and dangerous, to boot. If you have a strong army, and your people love you, no one can touch you. They won’t even think about it. He earned the love of the people of Columbia and truthfully no one could touch him! 

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  • On that topic, you need to run your army, so war needs to be on your mind all day every day. You need to be on the cutting edge of war techniques and technology. He was always consumed with stirring shit up and then negotiating, and endless cycle of entertainment for him, a way for him to feel importanto! 

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  • You also need violence to take self-governed republics, because they will rebel if you don’t crush them. Just remember not to keep being violent. Get it over with so you can start being nice and people won’t hate you. Never let your people hate you. Lie, cheat, steal—just don’t become hated. Unfortunately this ultimately led to his demise; however, he was able to lie, cheat and steal for a long time and the people still loved him!

SUNDAY

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Sunday morning was the best!  I grabbed a cup of Starbucks, I came home, watched videos of my professor talking about Leadership and Management in an office and took my final exam.  Here is what I learned – high functioning employees prefer specific instruction; however, in order to get the maximum performance from them you should give high functioning employees ambiguous direction because they will always give you more than expected.  Low functioning employees should be given specific instruction; however, they prefer ambiguous direction.  In my learning process my eyes are continually forced wide open.  Is this manipulation?  Are our managers really assholes learning the system to get unknowing and unsuspecting employees to do their work?

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I also learned, what I’ve already known, that shit rolls downhill.  No matter the situation, the lowest guy on the totem pole will always take it up the ass.  If you look at the Exxon Valdez oil spill, the CEO said he would take responsibility. Then the focus flowed down to the captain of the ship who was sleeping off an alcohol bender.  The captain turned the ship over to an unlicensed mate who was tasked with piloting the ship and ultimately paid the price for the spill.  When we delegate responsibility as an authority are we still ultimately responsible?  The more distance executives are to a situation the less likely they are culpable for any wrong doing.  Just look at Lou Pai, he was actually one of the Smartest Men in the Room.

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Funny, Machiavelli reared his ugly head again in my weekend, in fact, he was a realist who understood the limits and uses of power.  He believed that leaders should always mask their true intentions, avoid inconsistency, and “frequently act against mercy, against faith, against humanity, against frankness, against religion, in order to preserve the state.”  But what does that really mean?  If you study management theory in conjunction with political theory, you will begin to realize that you are studying the same subject.  I encourage you to re-read my bullet points above – you may see a disturbing correlation.

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Which brings me back to Friday, aren’t we all really just assholes in some form or fashion?  It might just be the level of assholedness that one possesses, but ultimately do we really think like Machiavelli to some degree?

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Professional Growth for Women?

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This is a 10 part series on Professional Growth for Women and Developing Our Inner Power. BA HA HA HA HA HA….

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If I wanted to “spend a day like no other,” I think I would rather not spend it with a bunch of bitches who obviously need to figure out how to be cordial to one another by learning how to be constructively assertive (rather than a FULL ON BEAT DOWN),

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have difficulty communicating (to your FACE),

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have no self-esteem (BACKSTABBERS),

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need new conflict management skills (bitch be like, I WILL FUCK YOU UP)

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and more (OH MY GAWD! THERE IS MORE?)!

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