Category Archives: Socrates
Life is full of ups, downs and all arounds. Thinking of ways to soothe our soul and calm ourselves are things we are not so good at. We would rather be stressed out, freaked out, on edge or going ninety to nothin’. Here is a list of top ten ways to feel better:
Find a piece of cardboard, stand by an intersection and solicit your fellow drivers for things you want, such as candy, hugs, a date or whatever suits your fancy!
Purchase a pill organizer and load up your favorite treats, be sure to pull it out in front of your co-workers, as it will surely give them something to talk about.
Go to the local zoo or anyplace that offers train rides.
Make sure you sit next to the person who looks like they are having the worst day and then give them something to laugh about.
Be sure to include them in #7, #6, #5, #4 & #3
Find a group of strangers and make friends, see if you can find one who will be attached to you at the hip for some fun and shenanigans!
Pull out your camera and get creative with your new found friends!
Don’t be shy! Get to fingering painting! You all will enjoy basking in the glow of your new designer duds!
Be sure to go to your local fountain to wash off, it will provide entertainment not just for you and your new friends,
but also all the innocent bystanders!
See how many people you all can get together to make a giant circle massage in your local park!
Be sure to do this close to a patch of mud (see #3).
Quietly sneak over to a fresh patch of mud and start slingin’!
Then get ready for some pig squeelin’, hog sloppin’, dirty fun!
Let the games begin!
For real peace, quiet and calmness pet something furry!
Whether it be a wall, fuzzy cat or a squishy panda, just fluff yourself all over it and make cuddles!
AND THE #1 THINGS TO DO TO MAKE YOURSELF FEEL BETTER:
Take Your Damn Pants Off – You’ll Feel Much Better!
All I can say is that I am putting 110% into Christmas this year and it is going to be magical!
I’ve got my groove on, my blonde locks are back, I’ve got that glow and a twinkle in my smile.
We will be celebrating Christmas in the snowy wonderland of Denver!
I’ve already starting packing, long johns, socks, snow boots, jacket, mittens, etc. etc.
Took Stella to the groomer and she and Brandi are ready to hang out with her cousins on the ranch!
The birds are chirping, the butterflies are fluttering and I just can’t wipe this grin off my face!
Just remember it is not the presents that make it special, but the laughter, the feeling of love, and the togetherness of friends and family that make Christmas special!
Regardless of our age or who we are, we always revert to our childhood ways when eating ice cream.
Spider Monkey’s: These scavengers waste nothing! They attack their ice cream like a spider monkey would attack a human as if he were on angel dust. In their personal lives they are a total whirlwind… of success! Spider Monkey’s are tenacious and their ambitions lead them to great victories. They are basically the poster children for #goals and nothing holds them back in life. If you could siphon some of that crazy energy and momentum into the rest of us, that would be great, thanks!
The Licker: Licker’s are methodical and calculating when eating their ice cream. Always scanning the room and those around them as they lick their cone slowly…. ever so slowly (kind of like a tiger stalking its prey). It is said the Licker is more pessimistic than you would think. Licker’s are also analytic and decisive. Their friends call them an “old souls” because they are typically home by 11, but really they just like to stick to a routine. Their home is full of vintage items, not because they’re trendy, but because they truly don’t make things like they used to — which is also why they still keep that old flip phone in a junk drawer somewhere. In their spare time, Licker’s read classic works of fiction and a fair amount of their sentences begin with “I was listening to public radio and…”
Dapper Dan: Dapper Dan’s take care and pride when eating their ice cream. They pay attention to every detail, making sure not to drip a single drop. Dapper Dan’s are passionate people, and are often made very upset by even small injustices, like when someone doesn’t hold the door open for the person behind them. Growing up, they were president of the class and the captain of a debate team, and in their spare time they volunteered at a local animal shelter. Their loved ones will often tell you that they are stretching themselves too thin, and their therapist recommended they start telling people “no” more often, but in reality they just enjoy helping others and being part of a community, even if it means being sleep-deprived. They also haven’t done laundry in a month.
Scavenger: Scavengers waste nothing, they take no prisoners, they just take what they want and when it comes to ice cream, there is no exception. They thrive on experiencing new things. Scavenger’s don’t jump on trends because it’s the cool thing to do; they jump on trends because it’s a new and exciting adventure. #YOLO, amirite? They’ve tried yoga, they’ve gone to a sip-and-paint class, they French press their coffee and they are most likely baking their way through the Momofuku Milk Bar book right now. They just keep on keeping on.
Thug Life: Thug Lifer’s make eating ice cream seem cool and seamless. They are about as chill as your ice cream. They don’t get worked up over nothing, and they’re content just rolling with the punches. Because of this, Thug Lifer’s are not afraid of a little (or a lot of) of indulgence, and why should they be? A handful of cookie dough never hurt anyone… right? Milk and cookies, huh? They know how to be an adult, but they are a total kid at heart. They might even still thumb through comic books and play video games with no pants on. (That’s acceptable, right?) Despite all their successes in life, they refuse to give up their true self, and that should be celebrated. Preferably with cookies smashed into ice cream. They heckle at sporting events, and sarcasm is their middle name. Though sometimes a bit rambunctious and (playfully) cocky, they are a true solid friend once people get to know them. Their pals can depend on them for pretty much anything, anytime. They have a big personality with an even bigger heart… but we’ll keep that last part on the down-low.
Chubby Bunnies: Chubby Bunnies are sassy and poised when taking a lick, they do it with such style and confidence that no one ever questions them. They certainly don’t need a man, they just need ice cream. Chubby Bunnies are likely to be flirtatious and seductive, and also lively, charming, dramatic, and gullible. They tend to be dramatic and approach life with “gusto.” They don’t really care about the future and thrive on the “passion of the moment,” needing constant stimulation in a romantic relationship.
The Fury: This ice cream is the only thing keeping him sane right now. Keeping one eye on you making sure you don’t make any sudden moves. ‘nough said… yeesh!
The Warrior: Warrior’s come complete with game face — there’s nothing dainty about their methods. If they could, they would yell “CHARGE” upon entering the ice cream parlor. If there’s more than one option to pick from, they are inclined to go with “all”. As a kid, they smooshed multiple double-stuff cookies together to create towering, creme-filled, edible towers of Pisa, as a teenager, they mixed all the soda flavors they could fit in their cup. This isn’t a hunger thing — they just legitimately love to create, and probably have an extreme respect for impressionist painters. They are also the sort who never match their socks, and have never used an iron, and never will.
BFF: BFF’s love to eat ice cream with their friends. They love sharing stories and giggling until all hours of the night. They are old souls who find joy in life’s simplest moments, or… fine. They’ll just say it. Despite being a bit of a wallflower, they have an effervescent spirit, and everyone needs a friend like them to keep them balanced. BFF’s are well rooted and family oriented, and they try to see the good in everyone. Even if they living in a big city, they possess the modest characteristics of small-town folk. BFF’s are one of the easiest people to get along with. They’re affable and thoughtful, and they are willing to go the extra mile for those they care about, with no expectations in return. With all that considered, BFF’s are obviously pretty great to spend time with, especially for those of their friends who are a little on the anxious side.
The Biter: Be weary of Biters, as they sometimes can be extremely aggressive people. Biter’s have a profound amount of ambition, confidence, frugalness and are argumentative. They aren’t fully satisfied until they find the tarnish on the silver lining. You see how they approach their ice cream, you have been warned.
The Hot Mess (this one deserved three contestants): HM’s are ambidextrous! They eat their ice cream with the veracity and tenaciousness one would expect from someone who uses all five senses to indulge their every creamy whim. Hot Messes are all about mixing and matching textures. If they don’t have a shag rug, then they have dreamt about owning one. In fact, they find the ’70s aesthetic in general pretty appealing. They have cultivated a very impressive and cozy collection of pillows, so much so that they may be running short of places to sleep/sit in their house. Hot Messes are truly creative if not eclectic people and they bounce around conversation topics at lightning speed since everything interests them — but they never stop on one thought for too long.
Getting Down to Business (GDB): The No-Nonsense Approach. GDB’s take their ice cream eating seriously, you might not want to sit next to them at a game or you could end up with ice cream in your eye when their team scores a point. GDB’s are likely aggressive and engaging, but a good listener. They are also goal-oriented and often successful, but sometimes their aggressive behavior can “inadvertently hurt the feelings of those that surround him.” GDB’s are blunt and have zero tolerance for nonsense. They know what they want in life and aren’t going to settle for less — the proof is in the cone! Be real, or get out.
Dare to be Different: DTBD’s like when their ice cream gets straight to the point. They are not indecisive, they’re just very choosy. They have a borderline disturbingly extensive knowledge of wine and food pairings — but striking a balance and finding the complement is kind of their bag (the bag which incidentally matches your shoes on a preternatural level). They know how to look at the big picture, then rearrange elements of the big picture until they all fit perfectly, like a life-sized game of Tetris. DTBD’s are excellent at planning dinner parties and juggling awkward conversations.
The Day Dreamer: DD’s savor every moment of their ice cream. Looking to the sky as if they are thanking God for creating such a masterpiece. They most likely decorate extensively with their favorite color on par with Prince’s passion for purple. They are people of a magical mind, when they latch onto an idea they dig deep — in college, their thesis advisor probably oscillated between loving and hating them on a pretty regular basis. DD’s are profound individuals with an amazing sense of self. They are honest, waste no time on judgment and know how to enrich their lives with the most basic means. Sometimes they dream about backpacking abroad; other times they dream about settling into the countryside and growing their own produce. DD’s can be indecisive AF, but hey, it happens. In a world full of options, decisions are hard for them. They are that same individual who can never decide on a restaurant, which shirt to buy or what drink to order at the bar. Thus, an affinity for the win-win-win trifecta of eating Neapolitan ice cream is good to know.
What is your style? Comments are always welcome!
I am a highly educated woman with an expansive vocabulary. There I said it. Believe me when I say, that took a lot of guts.
Observing social behavior is one of the most pleasurable activities. Some could care less about the social mores of society and tend to avoid them at all costs. However, there are a few very educated people who use these as tools to observe social behavior (mostly bullshit). Curiously people unconsciously give away their hidden agenda without even knowing it. Their attempt to deceive becomes so obviously apparent it actually makes them look foolish. If you just sit quietly, listen and observe you will find the answer is actually between the lines. Just remember, infinite patience gets you immediate results.
Your mind has to innately organize information constantly. Every little piece of information has a place, typically people like to start somewhere in the middle and work their way out. Having the ability to disseminate minor details that later become a major detail is essential. Sometimes you will feel like Neo in the Matrix, knowing something was off but you just can’t readily put your finger on it. Everybody has different levels of consciousness and awareness, so just sit tight. (there is no need to stick your finger in it)
Instead of being analytical, it really comes down to the brass tacks of having a bullshitsky meter. Which I now proclaim to have a war against and am finding it to be a completely unwinnable situation. Everyone seems to have their own private bullshitorium, one they are selling tickets to, even if you are not buying, they seem to lure you in only to rob you blind.
Bullshit oozes out of ones mouth like diarrhea, it also rears its ugly head in body language, like stepping in a pile of it. Everyone has a good reason and they will always have a real reason for doing or saying something. For me, I always want to give the real reason, not just a bullshit good reason. Bullshit (lies) destroy trust, the binding force in all relationships. Bullshit is defined as inventions made in ignorance of the facts, where the primary goal is to protect oneself or gain a benefit (cost benefit analysis, hmmm). It is a form of unnecessary deception committed in the gray area between polite white lies and complete malicious fabrications. Why do some want to confront the bullshitter? Has the bullshitter ever once admitted “thank you for pointing out to me that I’m inferior as a human being.”
To detect bullshit you have to swallow some cynicism, and add internal doubt to everything you hear. Socrates based his philosophy around the recognition, and expectation, of ignorance. It is far more dangerous to assume people know what they are talking about, than it is to assume they don’t and let them prove you wrong. So if you want to appear educated, be like Socrates, assume people are unaware of their own ignorance and politely, warmly, probe to sort out the difference.
And always remember the definition of a bullshitter:
- Foolish, deceitful, or boastful language.
- Something worthless, deceptive, or insincere.
- Insolent talk or behavior.
- bull·shit also bull·shat (-shăt) or bull·shit·ted (-shĭt′ĭd), bull·shit·ting, bull·shits
- To speak foolishly or insolently.
- To engage in idle conversation.
To attempt to mislead or deceive by talking nonsense.
Very angry; incensed.
Used to express extreme displeasure or exasperation.