Category Archives: My Life Over 40
Oh! The Complications of Dating and Human Interaction
I don’t know how to make it anymore clearer –but I am looking for a long-term relationship (possibly the rest of my unnatural life). Not interested in hit it and quit it – people who are confused – people who are uncertain of their wants and needs – people who are nuttier than a fruitcake – people who are bat shit crazy etc….
I am the type of person that if I go out on a date and like the individual, while I may follow-through on pre-planned dates, I tend to focus. I think I need to be a little more adventurous and not focus. In fact, I should just smear the lines so everything is unreadable.
Texting and BS’ing via email aren’t really my thing. I would rather meet, form an opinion, either go for a 2nd date or move on- NEXT…….
While Achilleus is in the background, I have hesitated a bit and pulled back. If you know me, this is my limbic system starting to rev up. He is a bit rancorous, which could be overlooked if it dissipated over time. Nor does he know what he wants, and the indecisiveness is a put off. Time will tell with this one. But I feel myself lacing up my kiks…. not a good sign.
Onward and upward:
Last evening I received this gem of an email on match.com – and now I am truly blessed.
“Would you touch me
Would you touch me so I can tell my friends I’ve been touched by an angel?”
I am wondering if this really works on some women? I had to laugh, I’ve been called a guardian angel a time or two in my life, but this is ridiculous. I think I will start using this line when I go out on dates. I wonder if it would really work? I wonder if they get this line out of a manual? I wonder….
Supposed to go out this weekend with a nice gentleman.
Next…. The face to face encounter…. Stay tuned….
Yes, Grammar.
HA HA HA! I needed that! Thank you for making my day!
Maybe my students will finally understand the importance of grammar if I use this example in class…
Important Moments in Time…. Forever Gone, but Never Taken Away…
Thankful and Reassured
Innocence
Confused
Inspired
Fascinated
Delicate
Admiration
Cracks Me Up Everytime!
Uneasy
Big Fluffykins – Frisky
Amazed
Content
Calm
Intrigued
Unique
Delighted
In Awe
Content
Free and Easy
Courageous
Liberated
Zen
Unconditional Love
Sunny Smiles
Mother Nature’s Beauty
Lucky – Captured
Inner Child
Pooped
HAPPY
Mischievous
Bright and Beautiful
Sad and Helpless
How I Got My MOJO Back – Thank you Achilleus
After getting thrown off the horse last night, I was ready to throw in the towel. I had a date set for today (Sunday) at 3:00 PM, figured I would make this my last one for a while and was in the process of closing down my online dating shop. Out of the blue I got an email from a cutie. By this point, I thought, “hey what the hell, what have I got to loose?” I gave him my number and instead of texting he called me right off the bat. I set up a breakfast date (a first for me).
I had my dates stacked for Sunday, nothing like getting back up in the saddle.
As I patiently waited for his arrival at a local café, I kept wondering if this guy would be another douche bag. Would he make up a bunch of lies to try to up sell himself? Was he a wolf dressed in sheeps clothes? Etc.
To my surprise, when I looked up, “WHOLLY SHIT”, 6’4, BROWN EYES, BROWN HAIR and BROAD SHOULDERS! I felt like someone knocked the wind out of me. Just based on appearances, this guy…. Yes, this guy…. WOW- Is what my ideal mate would look like. The thought of having beautiful tall, robust, brown-eyed babies came to mind. Why? You Ask? I have no idea why my mind went in that direction, it must have been a primal instinct. I’m pretty sure Charles Darwin was speaking to me from his grave…..
Popping up from my seat, I wrapped my arms around Achilleus, and inhaled his manly scent and fell back in my chair. He started talking and all I could see were his brown eyes and long eyelashes….. did I mention he had brown eyes?????? So dreamy… My eyes were slowly drawn to his lips and then his large hands. FOOK ME! Am I the only woman who objectifies a man while they are talking and smiles sweetly???
I could feel my own Achilles heel start to slightly tear when he suggested we take a walk along the beach.
Walking through the sludgy, seaweedy shore, we laughed at all the obscure un-beachy things we found. He oozed of masculinity and our double entendre’d conversation made me blush – I was rather embarrassed of my innate coquettish responses, which he thought were endearing. I actually locked my arm around his and he smiled…. (my heart is actually pitter pattering at a rapid rate just thinking of the moment), reached down and held my hand…… (I totally felt like a teenager again – even if I never saw this guy again, the feelings and memories he had given me, were the gift I needed)
Of all things we stumbled upon a coconut, yes, randomly a coconut. “You put the lime in the coconut….”
Before we got back to the truck, Achilleus, K-I-S-S-E-D ME – on the beach in the crashing waves around my Achilles. Not an open mouth mwmwamwama kind of kiss, but a soft, sensual closed mouth kissed and then paused – which evoked A LOT of involuntary emotion in me… Damn, that smile… PHHHEEWWW…
We stopped in a little shop, went to a local coffee bistro, sat outside and he continued his courtship. His touch was intimate, his non-verbal cues were on target and it made my mind wander into deep lascivious thoughts. OH YES…. DEEP LASCIVIOUS THOUGHTS.
Thank you Achilleus, I believe I got my MOJO back…. Another rabbit hole???? 
p.s. I canceled my second date :o) but not completely… just for today…. I’m not an idiot…. lol
You Might Be A Douchebag……Volume 2
HA!
Truth Shall Set You Free So Don't Be A Crybaby
This segments deals with our everyday douchebags, the kind you come across in your daily life outside of work. There are plenty here also and the force of douche is strong within them. Should you recognize one turn and go the opposite direction and if you realize through this post that you are one already, well then seriously go take a pill and deal with yourself instead of torturing innocent citizens. In any case you most certainly are a douche if:
- you wear your collars popped up in full force
- you chat it up freely on your phone in small closed in spaces where others have to be ear raped by you
- you use the term “bros and hoes”
- you find a way to incessantly talk about yourself
- your main shopping venue is Ambercrombie & Fitch
- you take up multiple parking spaces
- you refer to yourself in the third person
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The Mind vs. The Heart
The mind almost always knows the right thing to do, but the heart overpowers her every time.
You Might Be A Douchebag…Volume 1
Ha ha ha ha… This cracks me up!
Truth Shall Set You Free So Don't Be A Crybaby
There are literally hundreds of reasons someone qualifies as a grade A douchebag. We all know one or several, we all would like to be karma for a day and dole out some douchebag justice like Dexter and hell some of you reading this might even come to the realization that you are one (you’re welcome).
The office is one of the most common places for douche foot traffic so be careful and stay aware. You could be in the presence of a douche or even one yourself if:
- you interrupt conversations that you were not a part of and then you’re not even funny or helpful to the conversation that you just ruined
- you are a loud mouth know-it-all and push your “knowledge” on everyone
- you chew loudly and with your mouth open like we live in a zoo
- you overuse terms like “so bomb” and you’re not in…
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Craigslist – I CAN’T EVEN MAKE THIS SHIT UP~
When I think of Craigslist “personals”, I think that is really scraping the bottom of the barrel. I’ve met some sad people in my life but this screams desperation. Not to mention, who would actually have sex with someone who posted on there? I don’t know about you but the more I read the more I believe that everyone lives in a bizzaro world of pent up fetishisms.
If you need a pick me up, do a daily scan of craigslist personals, you will soon begin to realize how disturbing some people really are. It appears they come from ALL walks of life, ranging in ages and appear to be some of the oddest among the odd on the web.
I’ve put together a little ditty of recent posts and will try to incorporate the things I find entertaining and just downright disturbing.
Used panties from a 20/f – w4m
Okay I am ONLY selling panties and they are 30 each.
You must be able to come to me in
I have all different colors
Couple different styles, mostly thongs.
My panties are always fresh and wet
OK, WHERE DO I START – USED PANTIES FOR $30 A PAIR????? AHHHH-MMMMAAAZZINGGGLY GEEERROOOSSS… HOWEVER, PROFITABLE IF YOU HAVE A NICHE MARKET. FRESH AND WET??? THAT IS AN OXYMORON!
Will Do Light House Work or Serve you in the Nude – m4w
Hello I am an older white jentleman who will do light house work for you in the nude. I will also serve you in the nude if you like or do almost anything you ask me to do for you in the nude. So if you like to look at nude men who will do things for you in the nude pick me. PS You can touch me all you want and any place you want.
HMMM… I GUESS “HUKED ON FONIKS WERKED FER EW”… FREE HOUSEWORK… WILL DO ALMOST ANYTHING IN THE NUDE…. HMMM…. I WONDER IF HE WOULD INSTALL FIBERGLASS INSULATION? PS…. WOULD NOT TOUCH YOU WITH A STICK…..
Teacher / Student Roleplay – m4w – 55
Married white male wanting to live out a fantasy. I am teaching a night class at the local junior college.You are in need of some one on one tutoring after class and an attraction develops between us. If this type of roleplay interests you, get in touch with me and let’s see what we can work out. All races and ages will be considered. I am not looking to pay someone for their services. This is for mutual enjoyment.
OMG! SERIOUSLY??? I HONESTLY BELIEVE YOU DO TEACH AT A JUNIOR COLLEGE…. GOOD LORD, I WILL NEVER LOOK AT MY PROFESSORS THE SAME WAY…. MUTUAL?? HA HA HA
ny college bros into kink – m4m – 29
Looking to chat about crazy fantasies. Ws, farting, role play, toys etc. hwp dude here with pics for trade. Extremely discreet. No one knows about my wild side. Hit me up. Include pic and/or stats.
THIS IS THE BEST… FARTING??? SERIOUSLY??? MEN GET OFF ON FARTING ON EACH OTHER??? I CAN SEE WHY YOU WOULD WANT TO BE EXTREMELY DISCREET.
To Each His Own and for Our Entertainment! Thank you and good night!
P.S. Be Safe: http://www.telegraph.co.uk/lifestyle/9064008/Is-there-a-psychopath-in-your-inbox.html
“Wherever you go, there you are.”
I just read a post that cited the phrase “Wherever you go, there you are” and it really made me give pause. No matter where I am in life, physically, mentally or emotionally – the core being is still there. “There you are” – since the core being is still there; regardless of how many hats, masks, goggles, etc. you wear a day, inside you are still the same person – the good, the bad and the ugly. For some it is dreary, for others it is like peas and carrots, and the really lucky ones it is sunshine, rainbows and pink.
“Life is what happens to you while you’re busy making other plans.”
–John Lennon
It is one of life’s greatest ironies that, no matter how much we want to be different, wherever we go, there we are. There’s just no getting away from ourselves. Go on holiday — there we are. Win the lottery — there we are. Move overseas — there we are. Wherever we look, we are looking out of the same pair of eyes; whatever we do, it’s still the same body doing it.
In the attempt to get away from being with ourselves, we search for something or someone to make us happy; the grass constantly appears greener someplace else. But in every relationship and every situation, there we are again.
Meanwhile, our mind is like a drunken monkey doing its best to distract us by jumping from thought to fear to drama to anything that will keep us trapped in an endless round of worries and concerns… “What if this happens… what if I fail… if only it could be like it was in the past… what will the future be like… I have to to get to a psychic for help…”
We are like a musk deer that has a wonderful smell in its belly yet searches the forest for that smell. Wherever it goes, there’s the smell — but the deer can’t see it, so it has no idea where the smell is to be found. In the same way, we believe happiness is somewhere — anywhere –other than here, and spend all our time looking for it, without realizing it is already with us.
“If you aren’t in the moment,
you are either looking forward to uncertainty, or back to pain and regret.
”
–Jim Carrey
All we have to do is stop. Just stop. For right now, this very moment, is all there is. Nothing else is going on. Nothing else is happening. There’s nowhere to go. And being right here with ourselves is exactly where we want to be, because when we are fully here, this moment becomes the most precious, delightful, enjoyable and outrageous moment there is.
It is immensely liberating to realize that nothing more is required of us than to just be fully here now. What a relief! Finally, we can really experience this reality just as it is, without expectation, prejudice or longing. Someone once asked Ed if he had ever experienced another dimension. He replied, “Have you experienced this one?” Have you noticed the dew on a spider’s web, the taste of honey or your own heartbeat?
“Life is now. There was never a time when your life was not now, nor will there ever be.”
–Eckhart Tolle
When we are fully present, the world in which we live becomes extraordinary, as if being seen and heard and touched for the first time, for we are without preconceived ideas or desires. There is just the experience. Like a child making the unknown known, we are simply with what is, while also impelled to know it more intimately, to explore and understand, even to become it.
Such presence defies our limited understanding of the world; it takes us out of the logical, rational mind and into a place of just being, without judgment or idea of what should be. Stepping out of the thinking and conceptual mind, however, doesn’t mean stepping into nowhere or nothing; it doesn’t mean that there is no connection to a worldly reality. We do not become disconnected or cast adrift. Rather, it is stepping into sanity and, more importantly, into even greater connectedness.
As evolution does not go backwards, so life can never be the way it was. Being in the moment means having the courage to know we will never be someone other than who we are and that who we are is absolutely wonderful, just as we are. Simply being still in this moment, without attachment to or thought of before or after, invites a deep sense of completion, that there really is nowhere else we need to go. It is impossible to think of somewhere else as being better — the grass is vividly green exactly where we are.
“Yesterday is history.
Tomorrow is a mystery.
Today is a gift.
That is why it is called the Present.”
–Anonymous
Taken from: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/ed-and-deb-shapiro/wherever-you-go-there-you-are_b_858112.html
TEXTING 101
In today’s society texting has become the social norm. Rarely do people pick up the telephone and call one another – which I find interesting because if you are going on an internet date, wouldn’t you want to know what that person sounds like? Or does it even matter? I say this because if a guy does not have the decency to call me, I always preface my first dates with the horrible notion that I might actually sound like Marge Simpson’s sister – which always prompts an immediate voice verify telephone call. HA HA… NEXT……
Whether it is friends, family or complete strangers I have always felt it rude to try to carry on a conversation with someone while they were texting. Two pet peeves – people who are working at a cash register AND…. When you are out on a date and they are texting while you are trying to hold an intelligent conversation. Chances are they are texting another woman for either a booty call later in the evening if you decide not to put out or having continuous ongoing conversations with multiple women, because one is never enough.
NUMBERS GAME
If you are single you have probably experienced the NUMBERS GAME BLAST, it’s Friday or Saturday night, you’re at home watching a little tv, blogging, etc., and you get a familiar text that says: “What’s up?” You know beyond a shadow of a doubt that this very same text just went out to 20 other women at exactly the same time, and that the sender is just waiting to receive all his options before deciding what to do because in today’s society it is not about an altruistic relationship or friendship it is about “What Can You Do For ME” or “Who’s Going To Put Out the Easiest”. The texter’s gross negligence comes into play when he does not realize you can “REPLY ALL” citing “no thanks – unsubscribe – NEXT….. ” in your text response.
ZOMBIE TEXTING
Who hasn’t been out with all their friends and all the sudden, the conversation turns into crickets chirping because everyone is nose down in their cell phone texting? It is almost like a yawn, one person pulls out their iPhone while everyone else is looking at the bill, and then someone else starts doing it, and before you know it, you are engulfed into a ritualistic circle of texters. Almost like everyone has turned into post apocolytic zombies. To pull everyone out of their trance, the proper antidote is to send a text to everyone in the circle asking them “I’m thirsty, shall we order another round?”
A-LIST TEXTER
Everybody screens calls – as I mentioned above – an altruistic friendship is hard to come by these days, so if you are not on the “Fun List”, you can be assured your call will go straight to voicemail; however, there are times when you are seriously in the middle of something or you just don’t feel like talking. You receive two alerts – voicemail and missed call…. BUT why do some people feel the need to ALSO send a text to let you know they just left a bloody message? Common sense would dictate that if “Huked on Fonics” worked for you – that the recipient is most likely smart enough to see they have a missed call and listen to their voicemail…. ya think??? You should text back, “What’s next, Skippy, a drive by?”
DICK MOVE TEXTER
You’re dating this really great guy- each time he sends you a text you get a great big smile on your face and your heart pitter patters. He sends you a text asking you what your plans are for the weekend. Thinking he wants to spend some quality time with you or take you somewhere fantastic, tell him your schedule is wide open. He then responds “Oh okay, cool.”
Talk about a slap in the face – you are most likely standing there with your mouth hung open saying “AS IF!” How does one recover from this blow? Don’t respond. NEXT….
Over 40 - Everyday Life! 