You are the Result of 4 Billion Years of Evolutionary Success. ACT LIKE IT!
There are certain things that piss me off in this world. Of course, some of those things are fairly universal, so they’re not even worth mentioning. Things like taxes or politicians or aggressive drivers are on everybody’s list, so I don’t think I need to bother putting them on mine.
Therefore, I’ll just list some of the oddball, off-beat things that piss me off. Maybe you’ll agree with them, and maybe you won’t. Or maybe you’ll appear in them, which would mean we have a problem. Oh well … I was never big on diplomacy anyway.
Have you ever had someone call you an “elitist?” Let’s say you mutter something about how people who flunked out of high school are obviously too stupid to vote (which they are), and someone retorts: “that’s the most elitist thing I’ve ever heard”. Are you supposed to feel ashamed? Fuck no, you should say “thank you”!
What the fuck is wrong with intellectual elitism? Should I be ashamed that I would value the opinion of an educated historian on historical matters over that of, say, Ralph the bus driver? Should I be ashamed that I value the information in my university physics textbook over the ignorant drivel being spewed by GreenPeace in its idiotic campaign against nuclear power?
People who point at their wrist
People who point at their wrist while asking for the time. I know where my watch is, buddy…where the hell is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the bathroom is??
When your butt crack is showing and there is nothing you can do about it.
When you are in the bathroom and notice there is no toilet paper….after
When you are trying to get ice from the bottom of your cup and it ends up spilling in your face.
People who make wide right turns
OK, why do some people make wide swings to the left before they make a right turn? I mean…these are the people driving Buick’s, not semi’s. They swing all the way into the left lane to make their right hand turn, completely oblivious to anyone who may be passing them.
Fruit that looks great in the store and tastes like shit and is rotten at home.
Those annoying telephone prompts are #3. Press one for English. This is America where English is our language. Why should I be made to feel that I’m in some foreign country? Now some companies have wised up and give a Spanish prompt immediately. Can anyone tell me if there are prompts in Chinese, Arabic, or Hindi
I find it disturbing that the cute little Cinnamon Toast Crunch pieces are eating each other. I don’t think I could stand having a whole box of them on my shelf, because I’d always be imagining the horrors taking place within. And I don’t think it’s funny to watch the little M&M guys being lured to their doom, fighting for their lives while being stuffed into ovens, and especially the one having his brain devoured by voracious women (who are not even zombies). “It hurts! But I kinda like it” he says. It hurts. I don’t like it. Ditto all the happy, singing cows, chickens, and pigs selling beef, chicken, and pork products. Epic. Ewww.
Intelligent People Who are Idiots
Most of my close group of acquaintances, (is that a thing?) are extremely intelligent people. However, they are also completely socially incompetent. This does bring up the book smart vs. life smart debate. From my limited life experiences, I will say that life smarts are more important 100% of the time. What is the use of knowing advanced calculus, European literature,or the periodic table, if you can’t apply those skills in a comfortable social situation.
Now you know why bicycle shorts should be black – NO RED!
Inability To ‘Read’ A Situation
It pisses me off when people don’t know how to gage a situation and stop themselves from making an ass out of themselves for saying the completely wrong thing at the wrong time. If someone is talking about something sad, say….I don’t know….suicide, maybe – don’t be a cock.
People that need to be told repeatedly to do something
Especially applicable to marching band members. If you’re told to dress a form once, please dress it the next run-through, and the next…It gets annoying hearing the same DI’s saying “dress the fucking form, please.” Synthesize. Assimilate. Think.
If you’re going to tell someone how to do something, make sure you know how to do it first.
Don’t get me wrong, I love this planet and most forms of life on it, probably more than most environmentalists. But don’t ever tell me you’re going to halt all the logging in an entire region because of one bat. Don’t ask me to sign any petitions either.
It bears repeating.
People who try to push their beliefs on everyone else
It is one thing to preach the wonderful word of God. It is yet another thing to hate someone else for not believing in him. As long as it’s not hurting you, don’t worry about it. Be secure enough in your belief that they will find out that they’re wrong on their own.
People who exclude others because they aren’t exactly like them
Cliques suck, okay? You know, let that poor little introverted kid in — they could be really funny, or have a great opinion or idea to offer. Of course, they might not. But you can feel better that you tried.
People who take credit for the work of others
Stop it. The next time I see someone sitting on their ass while some nice people bust ass, then take credit for the whole business later when it counts, I’m going to punch that person in the face.
People who don’t care who they hurt in their quest for power
This is totally stupid, but I’ve seen it done many times. If you deserve to have power, you will get it. Quit sucking up. It pisses everyone off. If you suck up, don’t be surprised if you have a fucking army of pissed off ‘underlings’ ready to plaster you to the wall with duct tape when the revolution comes.
As long as my Constitution says I have the right to keep and bear, I will. I don’t care if you think it’s archaic; I will defend the Constitution, my rights, and myself with my gun, thank you very much. I think we still need them, if not now more than ever with you stupid bastards trying to take my rights away. Is that not some of the reason our ancestors came here in the first place? Realize your own heritage, for God’s sake.
Parents who keep topics/words/anything taboo to their kids
If you don’t tell your kids about something, especially if they ask, then you’re fucking yourself. They will find out on their own and use it to defy you. Don’t you remember being a child? Talk about guns. Talk about sex. Do what you have to do. Educate them before they educate themselves in the wrong way.
People who think their ears are too delicate to hear “swear” words
You know what I’m talking about. Damn, shit, hell, fuck, ass, bitch, tits, cunt, dick…I could go on. I think of myself as Carlinistic in thought; if you know who George Carlin is, then you know what I am talking about. He has an idea that words only have the meaning we attach to them, and he can’t believe that we single out certain words of the 400k or so that we have in the English language as “dirty.” Shit, piss, fuck, cunt, cocksucker, motherfucker, and tits. There, I said them. Sometimes, there are just no other words that will do the trick. You are not too good to hear these words. Stop pretending.
People who don’t like music
What? How the hell do you SURVIVE? I find it hard to believe a heart still beats in your chest if you cannot supplement it with rhythm. End of story.
Women who get boob jobs
You don’t want big tits. Trust me. They’re a pain in the ass. And if you have a skinny body, they are going to look totally stupid on you. If you think that they’re going to nab you a guy…well, I hope you like shallow-ass men.
Parents who are obsessed with their children
Again, it looks like I’m contradicting myself. But while it’s one thing to teach your growing kids about the world, it is quite another to live their lives for them. You know, maybe it’s a bit much to take them from school to Girl Scouts, then directly to karate, dance class, yoga, soccer, family therapy, and masturbation practice before making them do their homework, letting them eat in front of the television, then shoving them off to bed. Quit trying to live vicariously through them, you yuppie piece of shit. Just let the poor kid grow up and maybe she won’t murder you in your sleep with that gun you think you’ve hidden from her but won’t teach her about.
The word “racist”
Face it, people. You belong to the HUMAN race. African people are not a race, nor are Hispanic people, no more than Irish or Swedish people. The word “race” asserts that there is some fundamental difference setting a group of beings apart. And guess what – I don’t think all the melanin and darker plastids in the world can make you fundamentally different from me, a pinkish, Swedish-Irish-Indian-Canadian girl. It is not a difference, simply a function of the climate that the people you are descended from adapted to.
Posted on September 19, 2014, in My Life Over 40 and tagged Awakening, Bad Love, Birthday Hell, boyfriend, Divorce, Everyday Life; boxers, Fathers, Funny, Girl Power, God, Guys, Inner Child, Journey, Kid Again, Kids, Life, life after 40, Love, Me, Memories, Men, morning, Over 40, over 40 and single, Real Men, Relationships, Self-Help, Spirituality, Strength, Things that piss me off, who not to date, Women. Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.