“Is Aunt Flo Coming?”
After yesterday’s irrational rant, that I promptly removed the moment a dear friend asked me ever so politely, “Is Aunt Flo coming?” followed by the “give the guy a break” speech, I realized that the womanly PMS stereotype is real and I promise you that I felt abnormally emotional and batshit crazy yesterday.
There I said it… You were right… (you don’t know how much it kills me to admit you were right).
After self-reflection (aka torture), I have come up with a list of 20 irrational things you say when you have raging PMS,:
I feel like I have an aquifer of sadness inside me. (Yes, I really said this to my sister.)
Cheee-eee-ee-tos are like LIFE.
I’m running away, with scissors in hand.
He said that because he is a MOTHER FUCKING BITCH.
I’m screening calls. All. Day. Long.
We should adopt an orphan.
I need to join the gym.
Why didn’t my parents ever push me to play lacrosse? I would have been so good.
Why didn’t my parents ever push me to join debate team? I would have backed everyone down, in the corner and had them in the fetal position sucking their thumb.
Salt… Sugar…. Salt… Sugar… mmmmmm
Am I fat? Am I pretty? Do you love me?
Just… Just…. Walk away… slowly, quietly and don’t make any sudden moves.
OMG! I don’t know why I am crying, hold me…. Hold me….. boo booo brrr hoo…
Rub my glands…
YOU HAVE NO IDEA.
I’m going to join the Peace Corps.
You did not just say that…
*sobbing* I DID THE BEST I COULD *sobbing*.
Please, I would enjoy you adding more to this list, so I don’t feel like #21 – “All Alone”
Posted on August 12, 2014, in My Life Over 40 and tagged Angel, Awakening, Bad Love, boyfriend, Dating, Drunk, Everyday Life; boxers, Fathers, Funny, Girl Power, God, Guys, Inner Child, Kid Again, Life, life after 40, Love, Lover, Me, Memories, Men, morning, Morning people, Over 40, over 40 and single, Relationships, Roar, Self-Help, Spirituality, Strength, who not to date, Women. Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.